ExtravaDanza

Writing a book one blog post at a time

2012-01-16T17:20:00.002-06:00

Writing a book has always seemed like a really cool, if intimidating, pursuit. Mostly, the idea of outlining, then writing something that could even charitably be described as “book length” just seems like a lot of work if you’re not famous enough to get an advance to spend all of your time on it. I have other shit to do. Not that the stuff on my To Do list is even remotely important or helpful to anyone outside of myself, but it’s the sort of immediately fulfilling nonsense that is easy to commit to when the other option is “pour every free moment into a book and hope for the best.”

In the era of the short attention span, economy has become my favorite writing style. I tweet stupidly and prolifically, but none of those take more than a few seconds to think up and post (my followers would probably argue that some of those tweets shouldn’t even take that long to conjure).

When not throwing-up quips into my iPhone I’ve grown accustomed to writing articles in 500 word bursts. Again - short, quick, dirty, just how I like it. So, back to the original point at hand, a book sounds insane to me. But also I really want to do it.

There are only so many instances of looking on store shelves and saying to myself, “THAT person has a book?” or “There’s a book about that?” that I can actually take before I realize I should do it before I accidentally electrocute myself in the bathtub while waiting for The White Rabbits to peak. Although, that may have already happened (the band peaking, not an accidental electrocution).

In order to split the difference, I’m going to try writing the book in blog style posts and putting them up for free here. I’ve stolen a lot of media in my short time on earth so It’s about time I give something back. I think this offers a few key advantages.

1) It’ll get me to update a blog that saw 2 posts in 2009, 1 post in 2010, and 2 posts in 2011. That’s fucking terrible and if I had regular readers I would apologize to them. Thank god for that, right? Wait, no.

2) It’ll make the remote possibility I finish something that I could print out and call a book much more of a realistic possibility than if I just tried to write the thing in one piece.

3) Let’s be honest, the real reason this is a great idea is on the off chance some publishing house sees this and throws some money at me so I can option a half-baked book idea into a terrible tv pilot/romcom movie and then spend the rest of my days being famous without anyone ever really figuring out where I came from in the first place.

Of course this could totally fall by the wayside and I’ll stop updating it in a few months/weeks/days, but that’s fine too.

Next up…I’ll explain what the hell I’ve even been talking about for 500 words!

(That’s called building anticipation.)

Out of the Park '12 Review (Mac)

2011-08-21T15:39:00.000-06:00

It’s not particularly shocking that there are large groups of people who, once they grew old enough to realize they’d never be Ken Griffey, decided it would be fun to pretend they were their favorite team’s GM (unless you ever pretended you were Gord Ash. That’s weird). But what’s strange is outside of the series of games I’m reviewing now, so little attention has been paid to armchair GMs.

Lacking stylish graphics and repetitive play-by-play, Out of the Park has been the baseball fan’s baseball game for years now. What is lacks in “TV Style Presentation” it more than makes up for in immersive attention to detail.

Take for instance the main game mode, where you GM/Manage a team either beginning in the current year, or a historical year of your choosing. OOTP may be tough but it’s not clueless, so you’re given the option to start on any team you’d like, from the major leagues down to the rookie leagues.

But to get the full extent of OOTP ’12’s obsessive attention to making a true to life baseball sim, pick the option to start unemployed. Then wait. And wait and wait and wait. You’ll find that offers are hard to come by in your first year. So you’ll sim the calendar away. I had to wait until the first year’s off season to get offered my first jobn. A managerial position with the Lakeland Tiger’s Rookie League half season team.

While managing a major league team will give you GM duties as well, pushing you as the organization runner you know you were born to be, managing a rookie league team mean’s just that. Set the lineups, manage your games, but personnel discussions are not yours to make. And rookie league’s half-season schedule means simming away April through June of your first season, too! SO much waiting.

But it’s all worth it when you finally get going. Every managerial decision you make feels like it matters. Learning your players strengths and weaknesses is an absolute must, even in the rookie league. A few games into my first year I realized that my pitchers seemed to fall apart in the 3rd or 4th inning routinely. That’ when I peered at my depth chart and realized I had guys starting who had the stamina of a LOOGY. Things like this matter because you can’t cheat the game by pitching where you know the CPU can’t hit it. This is as real as computer baseball can get.

When you finally get a promotion, and it won’t be to a major league team immediately, I assure you, it feels well deserved. Out of the Park ’12 doesn’t look to crown you before your time. Instead, it offers you on the job training for the job you wish you had.

That’s really what it feels like. I’ll probably never get the opportunity to run a team, major league or otherwise, but with Out of the Park ’12, it’s almost as f I don’t need to. Sure, the millions of dollars in salary and notoriety would be nice but at least if I blew some roster moves in Out of the Park ‘12, I can always start my season over.

Favorite Albums & Songs of 2010

2011-02-02T16:55:00.003-06:00

I realize this is long overdue but better late than never, right? No? Well here, take it anyway,

Top 5 Albums:
1. LCD Soundsystem – This Is Happening
2. Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
3. The National – High Violet
4. The Walkmen - Lisbon
5. Yeasayer – Odd Blood

Honorable Mentions:
Big Boi – Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty
Black Keys – Brothers
Nathaniel Rateliff – In Memory of Loss
Tallest Man on Earth – The Wild Hunt
Titus Andronicus – The Monitor
Wavves – King of the Beach
Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Biggest Disappointments:
Broken Social Scene – Forgiveness Rock Record
Interpol – Interpol
M.I.A. – MAYA
MGMT – Congratulations
Of Montreal – False Priest

Favorite Songs of 2010:
Arcade Fire: Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)
Arcade Fire may have called their latest record The Suburbs but with sentiments like “You heard me singing and you told me to stop / Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock,” they might as well have called it “Growing Older Blows.” Luckily, this song’s bouncy synth melody makes the thoughts of retiring to the sprawl a lot more palatable.

Best Coast – Boyfriend
I completely understand thinking Best Coast is sort of boring, but “Boyfriend,” plays like a note perfect tribute to 50s girl groups and is incredibly hard for me to dislike. Sure, an album of this doesn’t fare so well, but one solid track full of coo’d “Ahhhs” and reverb drenched guitars? Sign me up.

Big Boi – Shutterbugg
I hope I hear this song in bars for years. The beatbox-sounding beat and handclap drums are a treat and Big Boi rhymes circles around the relaxed sound. Might’ve been my favorite song to try and keep up with singing along in the car all year.

Interpol – Lights
The way this song builds makes it feel like a close cousin to something from Turn On The Bright Lights, but the ominous beginning doesn’t ever pay off the way the best songs from Interpol’s debut did. That’s sort of the story of this band’s career, but “Lights,” still makes my favorite songs list for that first few minutes where it seems like you might just find the band you’ve been missing for years again.

Kanye West – Monster
How BIG does this song sound? I realize it’s not Kanye or Jay’s best verses ever but everyone on this thing sounds like they’re standing ten feet tall, just totally in control. And like everyone has already written, Nikki Minaj steals the whole fucking show with a schizophrenic verse that she’ll probably never top again in her life.

LCD Soundsystem – Dance Yrself Clean
It wouldn’t be right to say James Murphy only knows how to slow burn. Plenty of his LCD Soundsystem songs get right to the point, or at least arrive at it quicker than he does on “Dance Yrself Clean,” but this is the best slow burn of the year. Starting off as sparse as possible and slowly adding layers until it finally blasts off more than 3 minutes in? Perfect.

Nathaniel Rateliff – Whimper and Wail
I ended up catching Nathaniel opening up for The Tallest Man on Earth last year and he and his band were a bit of a revelation. Amazing voice, steady guitar work, and the rest of his band wasn’t too shabby either. This song in particular stood out fur the anthemic chorus that truly does wail.

Sleigh Bells – Rill Rill
For an album that absolutely blasts through the speakers, “Rill Rill” qualifies as a departure of sorts. Pure pop star fantasy. That’s risky business, too. I mean, Sleigh Bells isn’t exactly Dyanmite Hack covering “Boyz ‘n the hood” or something, but two hardcore kids making a pop-rap song? It’s amazing this song is listenable at all, let alone really fucking good.

Spoon – I Saw The Light
As much as I enjoy Spoon’s upbeat stuff, they do sinister pretty well, too. The lyrics in this song aren’t much (“I sew the world into the world it asked me back again,” for instance), but the driving guitar and steady drumming just evoke such a great mood.

Tallest Man on Earth– King of Spain
I actually forgot this record came out in 2010 until I went back to start working on these lists, but this might be my favorite Tallest Man song. It’s not difficult to hear on record, but it took me seeing him live to see how aggressively this guy plays his guitar. Yeah he’s strumming an acoustic guitar but he’s strumming the hell out of it. He earns every single note here.

The Black Keys – Next Girl
As triumphant a post-breakup song as there’s ever been, “Next Girl” oozes empowerment. No one ever seems to talk about male empowerment songs, probably because most guys don’t need to feel any more full of themselves than they already are, but maybe a breakup is the exception to that rule. A breakup is the time where a guy could use an ego boost and “Next Girl” is that boost.

The National – Lemonworld
Does this song sound maybe a little bit like a Chris Isaak song to anyone else? At least vocally? I'm not saying that's the reason I like this very sexy song, but it doesn't hurt. It also has some of my favorite lyrics of the year, including the very "National" couplet "This pricy stuff makes me dizzy / I guess i've always been a delicate man."

The Walkmen – Angela Surf City
My friend Nick once asked me why The Walkmen never tried recreating their signature tune, “The Rat.” Not the song exactly, obviously, but at least stylistically, returning to a song with huge rolling drum fills and an anthemic chorus. Maybe it just took time to fine the right inspiration, but “Angela Surf City,” is a worthy successor to the signature song on Bows + Arrows .

Titus Andronicus – A More Perfect Union
I haven’t had a Bruce Springsteen period in my life but Titus’ “A More Perfect Union” is a nice substitute for the time being. The build up to that initial guitar riff coincideing with the Springsteen tribute/parody, “Cause tramps like us / baby we were born to die!” is about as good as it gets.

Wavves – Green Eyes
The best Wavves songs have a certain sneering, Nirvana-esque edge to them. Everyone pointed to Puddle of Mudd as some sort of lesson as to why grunge was a bullshit genre, but “Green Eyes” proves their was a method to the message. It isn’t grunge music that was dated, it was just a bad band playing a boring style of it. Restores the bouncy to the sound. It may not be an original sound, but Wavves pays it proper respect here.

Yeasayer – Ambling Alp
Big ‘ol Peter Gabriel sounding drums, farting synths and some lovely uplifting lyrics. This is probably the song I’d be least likely to enjoy at all 10 years ago and yet here we are and I love this track.

Regarding "Alan Wake"

2010-06-29T22:33:00.000-06:00

Note: This post may contain a lot of blunt spoilers about the game Alan Wake. If this sort of thing bothers you, I guess you should skip this one and wait another year for my next post.

Is this what people who hate video games think about them?

I actually felt like I was on a sort of renaissance of reliving misspent youth, only doing exactly the same things over again. I was busy crafting a real rags to rags story about a kid who loved video games and baseball who moves back home from the city to save money and pay bills falling in love again with watching baseball and playing video games.

It was going great. I plowed through Ghostbusters, Mass Effect, Bio Shock (the originals, I was way beyond, obv), and some other stuff and enjoyed it all quite bit.

So excited, I signed up for Gamefly’s online rental service so this whole thing wouldn’t get too pricy. My first pick, Red Dead Redemption, would be denied due to low availability. Instead I was left with Alan Wake. That was fine with me. A game billed as TV-like in its narrative with a strong mystery element? For a guy coming off a serious LOST withdrawal, this sounded about right.

Metacritic sings the game’s praises, too. 83/100 overall score and an 8.9 from the readers. Having completed Wake tonight, I have one real question? What the hell is everyone’s problem?

Alan Wake is TV-esque, this is certainly true. The game is broken into 6 “episodes” that each end with some sort of cliffhanger, (and thank GOD the cliffhangers are usually a little more suspenseful than “We’re not taking the plane, WE’RE TAKIN THE SUB!”) but it’s low-end TV, at best.

More Happy Town or FlashForward than LOST or Twin Peaks. The voice acting here is alternately passably ignorable or frustratingly grating. Alan Wake is a pretty generic protagonist, which is fine, whatever, but his agent is something else. Playing up the irritating agent with a New York accent schtick, I often thought of switching to a subtitled only mode to avoid hearing his voice.

But that’s fine, it’s a video game. I expect pretty much the bare minimum on story concerns from videogames. Just be somewhat interesting and get me into the game and that’s all I want. Wake does that. The actual story, a writer vacations with his wife and winds up battling the darkness that has been trapped in the lake he’s vacationing at, except everything bad happening to him is only happening because HE has written a manuscript he won’t remember writing until you’re 3/5 done with the game, and he can’t just unwrite it because there’s a special typewriter and he has to battle the darkness first, or something, is well, ridiculous. But it is engrossing. The plot twists and turns but it stays coherent just enough to make you wonder what’s happening next (that is until the end, when the twist is literally, “The lake isn’t a lake. It’s an OCEAN.” Which I’m not going to be thinking about at all. Ever again.)

The problem with Alan Wake isn’t any of this, the problem is that it’s a fucking really boring game to play.

As you play through the story you’re armed with a flashlight that you have to shine on the bad guys (The TAKEN!) before you can kill them because they’re super-evil darkness powered and need to get lit up first. And all of this looks pretty cool. The light effects are well done and the visual atmosphere of the game is pretty perfect. Most of the reviews will tell you this and be totally right. The character models suck but really everything else? Pretty cool looking!

Anyway, so you have your flashlight and you walk around and your internal monologue is like “I need to find my cell phone!” and then your radar points you in the direction of your cell phone which is like across town so you go grab your phone and then it’s like “OH NO you left the oven on.” And then you go back and turn the oven off and in the middle of all of that you shoot some Taken and power up your flashlight so it’s extra-strength. You even pick up flares and other explosives. But this is ALL you do in this game.

Sometimes you find a door that’s locked an Alan is like “I need a key!” and then there’s coincidentally a room next door with a key and you go back and open the door. This is so infuriating. It’s like developer Remedy made this game and it lasted about two hours and they were like “Wow well this is pretty exhilarating but a little quick. What the hell can we do to make it longer?” and then they thought of every mundane thing you could do in a video game and made you do it. Find a key, find a radio tower that is impossibly far away, walk down a LONG path very slowly because Alan Wake can’t pass the President’s Fitness Test and has a hard time jogging more than 30 seconds or so, etc. Fuck this game so much for all of these things.

And maybe that’s just how most video games operate and I haven’t played them extensively for very long so I don’t get it, but don’t people deserve something more entertaining or challenging in an intellectual way than that?

What’s almost as galling is that reviewers don’t seem to be mentioning this at all. Like it’s totally taken for granted that the actual GAME you are playing is incredibly tedious.

Metacritic pull quote from The Economist (Wait what?) - A brilliantly told story, excellent voice acting, and an atmosphere so unnerving you'll sleep with the lights on for a month. If only it came with a bottle of instant amnesia so that you could play it for the first time more than once.

That’s not really all true but NOTHING about the actual gameplay? What?

From IGN:
Remedy's done a great job of mixing elements of written work, television, and videogames to create an experience full of scares, laughs, and thrills that's just as fun to play as it is to watch.

But it’s really not that fun to play! And I can’t even imagine watching this unless you only let me watch the cool parts where nobody is actually playing the game.

And as irritating as all of that is, you get to also READ Alan Wake’s novel that you are playing. Or, you get to read the pages of it that you pick off of the ground. Sometimes they clue you into bits of the story you missed and other times they give away elements that would be surprising if you hadn’t, you know, just read them.

I don’t know, maybe your mileage may very on this, but during one scene in the game you wake up from behind out cold and a cop is about to shoot you, but he doesn’t. Except you know this is going to happen exactly like that because you read it in the pages a bit before that, thus removing all the suspense. What the hell kind of idea is that?

Finally, the writing in these pages? It’s unbearable. So much TELLING. Alan Wake’s novels are basically “I WAS REALLY TIRED. I HADN’T SLEPT IN DAYS. THIS WAS AFFECTING MY DECISION MAKING PROCESS. AND THEN I TOLD MY WIFE ‘NO, I’M LEAVING’ AND THEN I LEFT.” Why is media within media always so bad? Like the skits in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

It would’ve been way better if Alan Wake was revealed as a huge hack writer at the end, but I guess hack writers don’t create fictional dream worlds that come to life and try to murder their wives.

Write The Night? Riiiight….

2009-07-20T18:32:00.000-06:00

At some point this week, I’d like to go over the highs and lows of this year’s Pitchfork Music Festival, but this post will basically be dedicated to idle speculation on a small concept. Are you ready for that?!?

For the past two years, Pitchfork had opened up their festival by having three bands play their one of their biggest albums track by track. The idea was pretty novel, even if the band selection left a little bit to be desired (Did I miss the wall of people clamoring for Slint?).

That trend ended this year when Friday night’s festival opening line-up became “Write The Night,” an idea to give fans control over the music by letting them pick which songs they wanted to hear by the bands that Pitchfork had booked for that night. A pretty cool idea in theory, given how everyone who has ever been to a show has that “I wish they had played ‘X’ story.” In execution though, it seemed a little bit off.

My suspicion began with Friday headliner Built To Spill’s set. While it had a good portion of songs I’d expect fans to request, it also featured two or three tracks from their last two records. While those songs were the best of otherwise so-so albums, it was shocking to hear those songs and not, say, fan favorite “Car” or even “I would Hurt A Fly” or “Sidewalk” or something like that. I’m not saying it was fixed, but it just seemed sort of impossible.

Fast-forward then, to Sunday night. When The Flaming Lips were booked they originally said they would finish off the festival Sunday night the same way it began, by playing a “Write The Night” set. Then a few weeks later, they had decided not to do that, and then a few more weeks later, they decided, “the band will do their best to accommodate [Write The Night].”

Fantastic! The Flaming Lips were going to stretch out and play some stuff off of the beaten path. Though I had never seen them live, numerous reports that their stage show, while impressive, had been running exactly the same for years now, was a little off-putting .Perhaps they’d throw together something new entirely?

No, No, No, No, No!

From the moment The Lips took the stage, band leader Wayne Coyne seemed almost
to mock the idea. Suggesting first that "Every night the Flaming Lips
write the night." One song later, seemingly by magic, Coyne backtracked by saying they would play the top ten most requested songs, so nobody should worry. Did Ryan Schreiber have a Suge Knight moment backstage?

Coyne, apparently excellent at changing his mind, then announced before he played another song, “That was Number 25 on the list.”

The set went on like this for its entirety. While visually stunning with confetti and all the pomp and circumstance of a championship celebration, the band offered only snark with their tunes.

As friend and fellow festival goer Luke Adams remarked, “They’ve played two unreleased songs…I don’t think anyone voted for that.” As if on cue after Luke mentioned this to me, they finished up another song as Coyne remarked, “Only one or two people requested this song but I know you all wanted to hear it.”

Wayne Coyne is The Mentalist, apparently.

This silly passive aggressiveness was punctuated by Coyne actually announcing that a song they had played was “Number 45” on the list of requests. Are you kidding me? I did not keep an official tally, but I believe they got through the numbers 1, 2, 5, 7, 9, and 12^th most requested songs, along with 44, 20-something, and two songs nobody could have requested because they weren’t an option.

To make the whole thing even weirder, The Flaming Lips decided the best way to honor their fans’ requests was to play their favorite songs as quiet acoustic numbers. To steal some thunder (and words) from another friend at the fest, it was like The Flaming Lips playing lullabies of their hits.

So instead of a funky, keyboard farting “Yoshimi,” we got a slow endless “Yoshimi” were Coyne stopped after every verse to fake-out the end of the track, soak up applause, and start up again. This slow-down tactic, combined with endlessly talking about absolutely nothing in between songs (including how good the food was. Seriously.) meant that The Flaming Lips, headling a sort-of-major festival, provided people with roughly 10 actual songs to listen to. If Wayne Coyne had sat on stage masturbating while confetti rained down, it would have felt less self-indulgent.

Back to the basic premise of this blog post – was Write The Night a total sham? I can’t really say. I wasn’t backstage, I wasn’t a promoter, I was simply a fan listening who heard one band play songs I would have seriously doubted would have been voted in, and another band basically say “Fuck You” to the very people who voted on their songs.

That said, I did e-mail Chicago Tribune rock critic Greg Kot in order to see what he would have to say about it, given that he had been backstage and spoken with bands. Without re-posting his entire e-mail to me, he mentioned that he didn’t think bands were particularly averse to the idea, and David Yow of the Jesus Lizard mentioned to him that fans had just requested most of what they had already been playing on their European Tour.

As for the Lips, Kot said that Coyne brought out the set-list to illustrate that the band had always been playing songs the fans wanted to hear, and that if anyone actually did want a change in the set-list, it would have to come from the 44^th fan choice because nobody was requesting songs prior to The Soft Bulletin.

That is a fair point, but I think he took the whole thing in a very negative direction, sabotaging his own tracks in favor of proving some greater point.

Back later this week with other festival related thoughts…

Blackhawks Broadcasting Buffoonery

2009-05-12T22:22:00.003-06:00

It’s great that Blogspot doesn’t shut down your blog for inactivity. Really, I appreciate it guys. Now if you could send me e-mail alerts giving me a hard time for not updating, I’d be even happier.

With that out of the way, it had to be a sport related post that brought me out of the woodwork, didn’t it? Wouldn’t have it any other way.

On my lunch hour today I took a drive to put gas in my car. On the way over I tuned in to The Mike Murphy Show on WSCR 670 The Score. I was lucky enough to catch Murphy going into a rage because the Blackhawks hockey-famous play-by-play man, Pat Foley, would not be broadcasting the rest of the playoffs for the team because Versus would be taking over playoff coverage.

Now, I understand Murphy being frustrated that he can’t listen to Foley anymore. The guy is one of the most respected broadcasters in the sport and he adds a lot to a game. That’s all well and good.

Where I get a little lost is when the mustachioed radio host lights into Versus, NBC and the NHL for allegedly being business stupid and depriving fans of their favorite announcers. A caller originally broached the subject, but Murphy spends an entire segment on this and never once thinks to bring up how baseball and basketball do the exact same thing! Every year! And guess what? Nobody ever complains about this!

Murphy is first and foremost a baseball guy, too, so I can’t believe he couldn’t remember when it wasn’t Steve Stone and Chip Carey calling the Cubs infamous NLCS Game 6, but rather the national FOX broadcasters. Where’s the righteous indignation there? Oh right, it was focused on some dope sitting down the left field line.

As if this wasn’t mind-numbing enough, I proceeded to listen as goon after goon called in to side with Murph and the original caller, one even saying something like, “I can’t believe I can’t listen to Foley and now I have to listen to the biased announcers on Versus.”

Yes, when I’m looking for objectivity, I always go for my favorite team’s announcers.

This nonsense was highlighted with Murphy exclaiming, “This Gary Bettman is an idiot for doing this to the sport of hockey.”

Yes, because the NHL was firing on all cylinders before that damn Versus stepped in and ruined everything! Are you kidding me? The reason the league is on such an obscure network in the first place is because nobody wanted to pay more to broadcast the games! And really, as nice as it is to have Pat Foley around, I’ll cut the owners some slack for trying to be like every other big boy sports league out there by pushing a national broadcasting agenda.

Part of me wonders if maybe I should’ve just put the gas pump in my mouth and let it rip.

But no, I listened on and on and on as this simple segment turned into some sort of rallying cry. And before my invisible reader base chimes in that the whole point of sports radio is to create this sort of visceral reaction from its listeners, well, yes, I know. But this was some Joe Morgan level stupidity.

The segment is actually available at the Mike Murphy Show page under the podcasts section for 5/12 at 12 PM. It begins just after the “What’s Your Beef?” segment starts about halfway through the file.

Please, someone suffer through this with me.

Election 2008

2008-11-05T19:57:00.004-06:00

Last night, just as President-Elect Barack Obama finished giving his victory speech to a packed Grant Park, I played Young Jeezy's "My President," for a bar full of people. One of the crowning achievements of my life so far, needless to say.

ABCs of Baseball

2008-10-22T20:23:00.002-06:00

The Seattle Mariners baseball team hired a new General Manager today.

His name is Jack Zduriencik.

Are you kidding me with this stuff?

I've spent years trying to spell this guy's name correctly with plenty of trouble, and now I have to deal with Jack Zduriencik? I hope his era is a short one.

Aging Gracefully

2008-10-04T11:40:00.001-06:00

I think I finally figured out the worst part of getting older – watching your favorite bands become sad caricatures of themselves.

I may be about to throw my hipster street cred into a bottomless-well here, so bear with me, but I’ve been a fan of James Dewee’s joke-fueled pop-punk band “Reggie & The Full Effect,” since back in high school. Back in the zenith of my early teen years, the whole thing seemed like an enjoyable diversion from being way too serious about standing still at concerts.

Dewees’ mixtures of hook-filled synth-pop music with ridiculous costume changes and, once, an entire set performed on roller-skates, did a great job adding a real performance aspect to otherwise ordinary pop-rock songs. Perhaps most enjoyable of all, Dewees seemed to be into the whole thing. He genuinely seemed to get a kick out of the costumes, and just being a silly guy.

Fast-forward to last week, where a friend of mine brought me out for Reggie & The Full Effect’s farewell tour, apparently the joke had grown old for Dewees, a fact that was obvious from the first note.

After sitting through some truly terrible opening acts, “Reggie” and his band took the stage without costumes and looking a bit haggard, to say the least. Dewees, for his part, wore a Hannah Montana shirt that he referenced a few times during the night. This showmanship was a long way from the matching red jackets and mustaches the band once wore.

The songs were as average as ever, and even the between song banter was exceptionally funny (much more so than jokey-hip-hop-nerd-guy MC Chris who performed as Reggie’s main support.), but it was obvious that Dewees’ heart wasn’t into the act at all.

It was like watching your favorite band play Vegas 30 years after their peak, totally washed up and exhausted, just looking for a check. Except instead of 30 years, it was seven, which only made things worse.

Moral of the story: I think that “Highschool Dan” officially faded away gracefully that night. Good times, really.

In slightly better news, I caught The Walkmen & Gollum at The Metro last night and it was fantastic.

This marks the sixth or seventh time I’ve seen The Walkmen, and I’ll probably go again next year, too. I can’t think of a band who is as consistently ‘on’ as much as these guys are everytime I have seen them. The set was heavy on tracks from the recently released “You & Me” which is to be expected, but that wasn’t a let-down at all. The moody atmospherics of the album translated well live, and the stage was enveloped in a nice smoke-machine haze most of the time, only adding to the hazy-feeling much of the songs promoted.

I’m hesitant to talk a lot about Gollum because I’d never heard a klezmar band before in my life, but boy were they fun. I think my enjoyment of the set jumped up a few notches thanks to the babyboomers dancing together behind me during the entire set, but even without them, Gollum kept a remarkable energy for their entire set. They certainly didn’t need a guitar to rock, that’s for sure.

2008 NFL Picks: Week 5

2008-10-04T11:39:00.000-06:00

Week 5 Picks:
Indianapolis (-3) over HOUSTON
Tennesee (-2.5) over BALTIMORE
San Diego (-6.5) over MIAMI
CAROLINA (-9.5) over Kansas City
PHILADELPHIA (-6) over Washington
Chicago (-3.5) over DETROIT
GREEN BAY (-3.5) over Atlanta
Seattle (+7) over GIANTS
DENVER (-3) over Tampa Bay
NEW ENGLAND (-3) over San Francisco
Buffalo (+1) over ARIZONA
Cincinnati (+16) over DALLAS
Pittsburgh (+5) over JACKSONVILLE
NEW ORLEANS (+3) over Minnesota

Season Results: 18-26

2008 NFL Picks: Week 4

2008-09-28T16:23:00.002-06:00

So this will be an interesting week of picks. I made the following picks late on Friday but didn’t get to sit down at a computer to elaborate on them until now, midway through Sunday. I promise that all of these were made before any games started though, and I’m writing the blurbs for each pick as if the games haven’t been played yet – scout’s honor.

Additionally, I went back and calculated how I did in my previous two weeks of picks, which should serve as a warning that no one should use this little feature as a guide to real-world gambling. I don’t think they’ll be making a movie about my betting prowess starring Matthew McConaughey anytime soon. Oh well, let’s be wrong some more!

Week 2 results: 7-8
Week 3 Results: 6-10

Week 4 picks:
CINCINATTI (-3.5) over Cleveland
Is it just me or does it seem like both of these teams have been bad forever? Aside from Derek Anderson’s hot streak last year, I can’t think of a time where the Bengals or Browns dominated in recent history.

TENNESSEE (-3.5) over Minnesota
I really love the Titans without Vince Young. Suddenly they’re a fun, underdog team that seems to be well on their way. Oddly enough, Minnesota went through an identical situation, sort of, and I like them even less now.

Denver (-9.5) over KANSAS CITY
I know I’ve written this for three weeks now, but boy Jay Cutler is fun! (Okay, I’m going to break my promise above and say that I can’t believe Kansas City won this game so convincingly. What’s going on in the NFL this year? This seemed like such a lock.)

NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) over San Francisco
The sort-of-hot 49ers march in New Orleans and lose! San Francisco seems like a plucky team, and certainly their prospects for the future look bright, but I think New Orleans is going to continue to pick up steam this week.

JETS (-2.5) over Arizona
This was a weird game with Favre’s status up in the air, but if he plays, Arizona will have a hard time keeping up with the Jets. I think Kurt Warner might once again be fading fast, which I couldn’t be happier about.

Green Bay (+1.5) over TAMPA BAY
I continue to feel good about Aaron Rodgers. It’s fun to watch a young quarterback develop right before your eyes.

Atlanta (+7.5) over CARLINA
(Breaking my own rule again, I hate the Panthers. I don’t know if I’ll pick one of their games correctly all year. I certainly didn’t this week.)

JACKSONVILLE (-7.5) over Houston
Jacksonville will continue to get on the right track today. I like this team a ton, even if they’re not playing up to their potential just yet.

San Diego (-7.5) over OAKLAND
I thought about this selection for about 10 seconds. It’ll be funny when I’m wrong again.

Buffalo (-8.5) over ST. LOUIS
Are the Bills going to go undefeated this year? No way. Are the Bills going to lose today? I doubt it.

DALLAS (+11.5) over Washington
Always a fun rivalry, I think Dallas draws first blood this week.

Philadelphia (+3.5) over CHICAGO
I am pretty down on Chicago sports teams right now. Bears and White Sox, I’m looking at you. I doubt the Bears have a chance to blow this one in the fourth, which is a positive, I guess.

PITTSBURGH (+7.5) over Baltimore
Still like these guys, too.

2008 NFL Picks: Week 3

2008-09-20T13:19:00.005-06:00

Another round of quick hit NFL picks. Hooray.

Atlanta (-4.5) over Kansas City
Atlanta hit the skids last week, but they're still probably a better team than the Chiefs. What ever happened to Bobby Sippio?

Buffalo (-8.5) over Oakland
The line is a bit high, but the Bills seem like a pretty solid team early on in the year. Sometimes it's best to ride the hot hand,

Chicago (-3.5) over Tampa Bay
Brian Griese being named the starter in Tampa over Jeff Garcia seems like a very poor idea.

Tennessee (-4.5) over Houston
Do you think Vince Young spends more time playing NCAA Football or Madden?

Carolina (+3.5) over Minnesota
Gus Frerotte? Peterson's status up in the air? Pass.

New England (-12.5) over Miami
I actually am not crazy about this line. Cassel is bound to have a bad game sooner or later. That said, it's the dolphins.

New York Giants (-13.5) over Cincinnati
Another huge line, but the Giants don't seem to be slowing down at all. It's difficult to cheer for a Manning, but I might be coming around here.

Arizona (+3.5) over Washington
Kurt Warner is harder to root for than both Manning brothers combined. Ugh.

Denver (-5.5) over New Orleans
I continue to believe in the Jay Cutler era, even if Ed Hochuli had to bail him out last week.

San Francisco (-3.5) over Detroit
The Lions are a special kind of bad. A bad I like to bet against all the time.

Seattle (-9.5) over St. Louis
Ah, the Rams! Here's my other favorite awful team! Seattle, a team with a banged up QB, no running game, and a bunch of back-up WRs in starting spots, is giving up 9 1/2 points! Remember when St. Louis was the greatest show on turf?

Baltimore (-1.5) over Cleveland
I really want to pick Baltimore every week now that I'm through four seasons of The Wire. Let's see if I can keep it up for a few more weeks in a row.

Philadelphia (-2.5) over Pittsburgh
It's nice to see McNabb back in the fold of very good Quarterbacks again.

Indianoplis (-5.5) Jacksonville
I'm through picking the Jaguars. No more of that.

Green Bay (+2.5) Dallas
Rodgers Vs. Romo! This'll be fun.

Jets (+8.5) San Diego
Did I miss something? What exactly did the Chargers do to get this kind of an edge? Does John Madden know?

2008 NFL Picks: Week 2

2008-09-13T19:29:00.003-06:00

I can’t believe I missed last week’s picks. Nothing I can do about that now besides pick up the slack and just go forward from Week 2. I’m not exactly brimming with excitement at that prospect either. I feel like at least half of this week’s games are complete toss-ups, which either says something about my abilities as a predictor, or the unpredictable nature of an NFL season in its infancy. Not sure which.

(home team in caps)

KANSAS CITY (-3.5) over Oakland

This is a bad game. These are bad teams. I have no idea which of them is less bad, but for the sake of argument and getting off the fence once in awhile, let’s go with Kansas City.

Tennessee (+1) over CINCINATTI

Is it funny or tragic that Tennessee is easier to pick when Vince Young is on suicide watch? I’m going to back Kerry Collins and see what happens. Knowing Chris Simms is one snap away from being QB1 for a game isn’t exactly comforting, but I’m sticking to my guns.

Indianapolis (-1.5) over MINNESOTA

The Colts can’t possibly be as bad as they were last week, right? Manning should improve now that he has a game under his belt, and Peterson aside, I feel like the Vikings may have been a bit overrated coming into the season.

New Orleans (PK) over WASHINGTON

Yuck. Washington was awful against the Giants, and the Saints aren’t any worse, so why not.

Green Bay (-3) over DETROIT

I picked an awful lot of road teams this week. Here’s hoping Aaron Rodgers can keep it together for another game.

Chicago (+3) over CAROLINA

Look, I’m pretty sure the Bears are who I thought they were, which is a team that will struggle to be .500, but I still like them in this game. They’re riding a bit of momentum, and I’ve never really like the Panthers.

New York Giants (-8.5) over ST. LOUIS

I’d like to make this my sure fire, double-pad-locked lock of the week horseshoe special. The Rams are abysmal.

JACKSONVILLE (-5) over Buffalo

I don’t feel very good about this at all. Lots of folks hopping on the Buffalo bandwagon, but I can’t let go of my Jacksonville love from last year. We’ll see.

TAMPA BAY (-7) over Atlanta

Bad teams all over the place. I have no idea. No Garcia, but I’m not sure what that even means in the context of this game.

San Francisco (+7) over Seattle

Is Shaun Alexander officially retired yet?

Miami (+7) over ARIZONA

I’ll hop on board the Fins hype machine for this game at least.

NEW YORK JETS (-1) over New England

J-E-T-S! JETS JETS JETS JETS JETS!

I might actually be the only guy outside of New England who was sad Brady went down. I enjoyed following all of the hype and trash talking from the Patriots last year, and I don’t think Matt Cassle can give me what I need.

Baltimore over Houston

I can’t even get a line on this game, but if it even happens, Baltimore will win.

DENVER (+1) over San Diego

Typical slow start for the bolts means that the Jay Cutler Express can ride another week. I’m absolutely in.

Pittsburgh (-6.5) over CLEVELAND

Stillers goin’ all the way ‘n at. Yinz guys in?

DALLAS (-7) over Philadelphia

I’m really looking forward to this game. I’m not actually sure Dallas can win by more than the TD, but I think Philly is in for a slight letdown after how well they played last week.

'The Wolfe' in sheep's clothing

2008-05-29T12:11:00.005-06:00

Over the weekend, some friends came into town on the last leg on a tour of Major League Baseball stadiums. They hit 11 different stadiums with U.S. Cellular Field, Wrigley Field, and Miller Park finishing up the trip. Being an avid Chicago baseball fan, I eagerly hosted the weary travelers.

As you might guess, most of our discussions centered around baseball.

Among the many topics covered was a recent quote from Orlando Cabrera that appeared in the Daily Herald regarding his status as a bit of a Mr. Fix-it for teams with shortstop issues.

"The way I look at it is my whole career I was brought into places where they have something to fix,'' Cabrera said. "Once the problem is fixed, they move me on because someone else requires my service. That's the way I look at it.

"They needed a guy that could relax things when they went wrong and show the kids with a lot of ability how things should be done so they can use their talent, then I move on to another place.''

After I told the story, one of the guys decided that suddenly the player known as The O.C. had a lot in common with another character from California: Pulp Fiction's Winston Wolfe. Wolfe's m.o. is summed up succinctly in the line from the film: "I'm Winston Wolfe. I solve problems."

So it was then that The O.C. became "The Wolf(e)." It was a fun enough diversion.

All of this is a long way of getting to the point that for a guy that "solves problems," he's sure been causing enough of them lately. Aside from struggling to hit .250, The Wolf(e) has now become a bit of a crybaby with regards to his error total.

From the Chicago Tribune:

"I never had anybody complain about that stuff," said Cabrera, who won his second Gold Glove Award last season with the Los Angeles Angels. "If there was a major-league player who tells me he's not selfish, he's lying. Everyone is selfish about numbers, because that's the only thing people cannot lie about. That's it. It's not a big deal. I don't know who's trying to make this a big deal. Maybe it's the media, maybe it's the manager. And nobody is complaining about that stuff. Nobody cares about that."

Pretty bold words for a guy who has been, up to this point, slightly less than advertised. Although kudos for The Wolf(e) for actually getting these digs in while on a hot streak. At least he has a bit more sense than former failures like Jaime Navarro, who loved to complain whether he was doing poorly or not.

Willie Randolph learns a lesson on citing examples

2008-05-21T11:19:00.002-06:00

Apparently Willie Randolph believed that the New York media held him to unfair standards because he is African-American. He expressed those viewpoints, and then later backed off, and while he may or may not be right about that, he sure did a terrible job citing similar examples where African-Americans were treated unfairly on their way to the unemployment line.

To whit:

He also noted the treatment of former New York Knicks coach and GM Isiah Thomas, saying "Isiah didn't do a great job, but they beat up Isiah pretty good. ... There's something weird about it."

Yeah Isiah really got a raw deal there in New York, running the team into the ground as both the coach and GM before getting canned. Nice.

Credit: ESPN

2008 MLB Predictions

2008-03-29T14:40:00.001-06:00

For the past several years, dating back before this blog into what could kindly be referred to as “The Sports Den Era (R.I.P!),” I’ve written up my predictions for the upcoming baseball season.

Every year some of my predictions are correct, while others are so far off the mark that it amazes even me that I have enough restraint not to edit these old posts. Even still, every spring I feel compelled to give it another shot.

I’m not sure why, really. It’s not as if I am aiming for the perfect set of predictions (that would be a stretch). Nor do I believe that a solid string of lucky guesses is going to help land me that dream job counting the number of balls thrown in the 7^th inning of Kansas City Royals away games (I’m still waiting for your e-mail reply, Mr. Neyer!). So this year, let’s just say I’m making predictions for the sake of preparing for my various fantasy baseball drafts. One nerd habit begets another, right?

With that said, here’s a nod of the cap to old pal Mike Murphy as I play “I Predict” with the 2008 MLB season.

* = Wildcard winner

NL East

New York Mets

*Atlanta Braves

Philadelphia Phillies

Washington Nationals

Florida Marlins

My excitement at seeing Johan Santana pitch behind the stacked Mets offense is off the charts. How many games will he win? Is it absurd to say 25 is out of the question? I can’t wait for this. I’m completely unconcerned that their rotation is complemented by two guys who would be lucky at this point to give you 200 innings combined in El Duque & Pedro Martinez. I know they had that big collapse last year, but what are the odds of that happening again? Please don’t answer that.

I went with Atlanta as my NL wildcard pick because I have apparently bought into their significant pre-season hype. They have excellent young talent like Brian McCann, Kelly Johnson, and Yunel Escobar, and Jeff Francoeur is poised to finally make the leap this year. I bought stock on him last year, perhaps a hair too soon, but I still believe. Most

interesting to me was that Atlanta ranked in the top 5 in plenty of pitching and batting categories last year (BA/R/OBP/ERA/BAA/WHIP) and yet finished just above .500. I think this is explained pretty well by their rotten 18-25 record in 1-run games, and with just a little more luck, they’d be looking at a 90 win season.

Here’s where things get tricky, because I’m about to tell you that the Phillies, the only team in the East with a worse record in 1-run games (14-23) is going to fall from first place to third place in their division. I’m going to believe it, too! While I like the young guys in the Philly rotation, I’m not as sold on the cagey vets. Jamie Moyer and Adam Eaton do little for me, and although Atlanta isn’t exactly bringing out a vintage 90s Braves rotation, I still feel more comfortable there. Geoff Jenkins seems like a blah left fielder too, considering his OBP and OPS have dropped in each of the last three years.

All three teams should benefit from getting to play Washington and Florida a lot. After looking at the Marlins’ 2008 depth chart, I’m stunned at how unsettling the absence of Cabrera is to the lineup.

NL Central

Chicago Cubs

Milwaukee Brewers

Houston Astros

St. Louis Cardinals

Cincinatti Reds

Pittsburgh Pirates

The ’08 Brewers will be bringing back pretty much the same cast that saw them collapse away the division thanks to a bullpen that was routinely blowing 4+ run leads. This was capped by a stretch where they lost 11 of 14 games in August. Not exactly the path to October baseball there. Oh wait, they added Eric Gagne. Apparently in addition to not making the 2007 playoffs, the Brewers decided not to watch them as well.

The Cubs, meanwhile, dropped deadweight Jason Kendall (did I mention the Brewers picked him up? Yikes.) and added the solid Kosuke Fukudome in right field. They also added some depth to the rotation by picking up Jon Lieber, who I’ve always liked. It would be “Oh so Cubs” for this team to flub up what should be a clear shot to the playoffs, but I think they have this thing.

I don’t think there are too many other surprises in the Central. Pujols is telling people he can play with some sort of tear in his arm, which should be horrifying to everyone involved, and Houston isn’t going to compete for a playoff spot just yet. Hard not to get excited for the Dusty Baker era in Cincinnati though. If Dusty thought he saw some “base cloggers” in Chicago, he hasn’t seen anything yet.

NL West

Arizona Diamondbacks

San Diego Padres

Colorado Rockies

LA Dodgers

San Francisco Giants

After years of basically putting the National League on the backburner, the crazy races in the NL East and West really grabbed me by the collar last year. Now that baseball is back, I feel like getting invested from the get go and the NL West has a lot to do with that feeling.

Any of these teams could win the division and (well, maybe not the Giants) and any one of them could finish in fourth place. Each of them have a solid mix of veterans and young stars, too. Arizona has Chris Young who had his breakout last year in Arizona, San Diego has a great young rotation led by Jake Peavy and the other Chris Young, LA has a star studded outfield, and Colorado’s lineup is packed with young talent and bolstered by the veteran presence of Todd Helton.

Basically, there’s a whole lot to like about each of these teams. I wouldn’t be surprised if I picked this division completely wrong, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

AL East

Boston Red Sox

*New York Yankees

Toronto Blue Jays

Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Baltimore Orioles

This is another division that seems like it’s very close to getting ultra competitive. Obviously the Red Sox and Yankees will most likely battle it out for first place, but Tampa Bay looks ready to finally make a move with the big boys, provided Kazmir comes back quickly, and I think I’ve been predicting a breakout season for the Blue Jays for three years running.

I’m going with Boston to take the division again, despite some starting pitching that I am not absolutely in love with at the moment, due to various injuries. It will be exciting to see what happens to Jon Lester another year past his recovery from cancer, and Buchholz was impressive last year. Boston will have to hope that the usual growing pains that young pictures experience will be off-set by the powerful Boston offense.

The Yankees will be right in the mix again though, and again, I’m ready for the Jays. If Burnett and Halladay stay health, McGowan will make a nice number three. There’s a lot to like on this team. There’s also a lot to feel iffy about. I’m not sure that Eckstein or Stairs have a lot to give at this point, but Alex Rios should just get better and better. We’ll see if Frank Thomas has anything at all left in the tank, too (doubtful).

AL Central

Cleveland Indians

Detroit Tigers

Chicago White Sox

Minnesota Twins

Kansas City Royals

It’s very irritating writing the prediction for the division I follow the closest when I believe the team I follow, the White Sox, has no shot at winning the division. I get geeked up to write a couple thousand words, and when I get to “my guys” it’s difficult to muster much enthusiasm.

This is absolutely a two-team race, and neither team calls themselves the White Sox.

I actually was able to cheat a little bit on this prediction, because a week ago when I began writing these predictions I had Detroit ahead of Cleveland based on their starting pitching depth and off-season acquisition of Miguel Cabrera. Since that time, they lost Curtis Granderson for a few weeks and their bullpen is pulling up lame right before the start of the season. Those red flags are more than enough for me to back off and take the Indians.

Sure Cleveland choked in the ALCS, and Fausto Carmona increased his IP exponentially last season, but I’m banking that the 170+ games they played where they looked like a championship team are more important than the three games where they looked dazed and confused.

AL West

Los Angeles Angels

Seattle Mariners

Oakland A’s

Texas Rangers

Not the most fun division to think about. Anaheim overcame a Seattle team that played well over their head last season and added another starting pitcher (Jon Garland) and a gold glove outfielder (Torii Hunter) to an already very good team. Even if Seattle improves to a point where their record is in line with their statistics, that likely won’t be enough to overcome a very good Angels team, injuries to Lackey and their other starters notwithstanding.

PLAYOFFS:

Division Series:

Cleveland Indians over New York Yankees

Boston Red Sox over Los Angeles Angels

New York Mets over Chicago Cubs

Arizona Diamondbacks over Atlanta Braves

Championship Series:

Cleveland Indians over Boston Red Sox

Arizona Diamondbacks over New York Mets

World Series:

Cleveland Indians over Arizona Diamondbacks

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez

NL MVP: Matt Holliday

AL ROY: Evan Longoria

NL ROY: Kosuke Fukudome

AL CY YOUNG: Josh Beckett

NL CY YOUNG: Johan Santana

MANAGER OF THE YEAR: Mike Scioscia

Better late than never

2008-02-28T17:37:00.003-06:00

Following a passing feeling of immense shame at not having seen more than one or two movies that actually won Academy Awards last weekend, I lucked into finally watching There Will Be Blood last night.

This blog rarely talks about film, and I'd never try to paint myself as any sort of arbitrator of good or bad movies, but this was fun to watch. One of the angriest movies I can remember seeing in a long time. The on-screen action was mesmerising, but I keep coming back to how angry the whole thing felt.

Everything I had read about Daniel Day-Lewis, including that he basically owns the character of Daniel Plainview, was right on. I can't imagine anyone else playing the role so perfectly.

I loved it, needless the say.

At this point there isn't a lot to add regarding the alarming number of parodies of the film's final scene, but I think the picture here sums the whole affair up as well as any other.

Final rating: A++ would watch again.

I'd pick against the Giants again, too

2008-02-10T12:13:00.000-06:00

How did you let this happen, America?

2008 NFL Playoffs Picks: Divisional Round

2008-01-12T09:27:00.000-06:00

No time to waste! ExtravaDanza is going on vacation and will return next week.

PACKERS (-7.5) over Seahawks
C'mon, Favre. Please retire.

Jaguars (+13) over PATRIOTS
I think New England will win this game, but the line is too high. As Luke said, "I think Jacksonville is the third best team in the NFL behind New England and Indianapolis." Agreed.

COLTS (-8) over Chargers
See ya later LT.

COWBOYS (-7.5) over Giants
I refuse to pick the Giants. It's pretty much that simple.

Nice hot-pants

2008-01-09T14:13:00.001-06:00

More laughs from the NFL - Seattle Seahawks' kicker Josh Brown is going to wear pants with battery powered heaters in order to stay warm during the team's playoff game in Green Bay.

I don't think I've ever heard of this happening, so I can only hope that the untested repercussions of this experiment result in Josh Brown kicking field goals while his pants slowly catch on fire from malfunctioning batteries.

Let sleeping MVPs lie

2008-01-08T22:49:00.001-06:00

I have no idea why teams insist on talking trash to the New England Patriots. I get that they want to feel a sense of confidence themselves when going up against a team that has been, up to this point, unbeatable, but why create a degree of difficulty for yourself?

The list of players, teams, and coaches that have done their best to bury themselves before a coin toss against the Patriots is plenty, with Steelers' safety Anthony Smith being the most ridiculous example.

That is, until now. Apparently Vic Ketchman of Jaguars.com is feeling a little punchy as the Jags prepare to meet New England in the AFC Divisional Playoffs.

For those adverse to clicking links, Ketchman has a running power poll of NFL teams, and while he has New England atop the list, he does so with an asterisk that notes

"* Cheated in one game."

I have a feeling that's not going to help Jacksonville any.

2008 NFL Playoffs Picks: Wildcard Weekend

2008-01-04T18:10:00.000-06:00

It's that time again! The NFL playoffs are here, and although I won't be placing any bets myself, there's nothing I enjoy more than playing along and picking some winners.

Here's hoping I can do a little better than my initial foray into these picks late last year.

(home team in caps)

Washington (+3) over SEATTLE
Shaun Alexander nearly crippled my fantasy team, and Washington has been playing with an extra purpose since the death of Sean Taylor (their easy schedule didn't hurt, either). I'm going with the skins.

Jacksonville (-3) over PITTSBURGH
I still haven't seen Jacksonville play that much, but it's hard to argue with their record. The Jaguars are a very good team. Even if the Steelers have been juggernauts at home, I'll keep riding the hot hand.

TAMPA BAY (-3) over New York
The Giants played their Super Bowl last week, and for three quarters they looked absolutely terrifying. Eli was channeling his big brother and the Giants' defense was hitting with a purpose. Then everything came apart in the 4th and the Patriots put the Giants in their place. There's no way New York felt as good about that loss as they said they did, and they'll lose again Sunday.

SAN DIEGO (-10) over Tennessee
That's a pretty significant line, but Tomlinson has been in a groove for weeks now and Tennessee just doesn't seem that good. Luke swears the Chargers aren't so hot, but I'll stand by my #1 fantasy pick (at least until they lose).

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T10:26:00.001-06:00

This story would be much better with a picture to accompany it.

California seems like such an exciting place.

In the winter spirit

2007-12-20T20:58:00.000-06:00

Orisinal is a website that appears to exist solely to house bizarre flash games. Actually I suppose it would be more accurate to say FerryHalim.com exists to promote whoever Ferry Halim is, and to promote flash games under the guise of the name "Orisinal."

Whichever the case, my favorite Orisinal game is the charming "Winterbells." The object of winter bells is to take control of the tiny white rabbit protagonist and continually float into the floating bells in order to keep him from landing back on the ground. Of course, the bells get farther apart and smaller the higher up you go, lending the game quite a challenge after a while.

I have played numerous flash games over the years, but Winterbells is the only one I've had bookmarked on my computer for over a year that I still actually come back to from time to time. It seemed appropriate to return from another ExtravaDanza hiatus with a game that could very likely send me disappearing for a similar length of time.

Enjoy!

All the sudden, pow!

2007-08-30T19:33:00.001-06:00

WARNING: Post may contain spoilers concerning R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet: Chapters 13-22"

A little over one week ago, Chicago's own R. Kelly released the latest set of chapters for his amazing hip-hopera, "Trapped in the Closet." While maybe not as impressive as the first five chapters were, it easily holds up to everything else released on the first DVD and then some.

Sure, the clever rhyming is thrown out the window for a good portion of some of the new chapters, and the mobster stereotype/storyline comes completely out of left field, but Roxanne and Tina are finally revealed 'Twan is in nearly every single chapter, and now there's a mysterious "package" involved. What's not to like?

If the above paragraph meant nothing to you, head on over to IFC.com and watch the new chapters immediately.

Once you finish with that, the real bread and butter is at The Official Trapped in the Closet Fan Wiki, which actually has a chapter guide with interactive features like "Did anything like this ever happen to you? Share your real-life parallels." I hope someone submit a real-life parallel for the chapter when Big Man finally has his run-in with James.

Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see

2007-08-28T14:44:00.000-06:00

For the last few weeks, I have been contemplating my 22nd birthday (August 29, still plenty of time to send presents/cards/candy my way.) and whether or not birthdays are even interesting after you turn 21.

After a weekend of early celebrating, it turns out that they're still plenty valuable. I had completely forgotten that the best part of birthdays is being able to spend your birthday haul on stuff you otherwise always wrote off as less-than-necessary.

With that in mind, I'm now the proud owner of Guitar Hero II and a Netflix account.

There's not much to say about Guitar Hero that certain bloggers haven't already said many times over, but I don't know why it took me so long to get on board. I'll never, ever be good at the real guitar, but this is a fine replacement for the time being. If only the buttons didn't scream "Fischer-Price's My First Guitar."

The Netflix account is where everyone else comes in. I'm well on my way to cultivating my own list of movies or TV shows I'm embarrassed to say I've never really watched (Lost, Goodfellas, etc.) I'm more than open to suggestions from everyone else. What things should I be queuing up?

Up and at them

2007-08-14T14:47:00.000-06:00

My blogger hiatus is over. That said, I'm not sure where I want to take this blog so give me a few weeks to figure out a plan of action.

In the meantime, thanks to Luke for his few posts while I was away.

Here's a nice little YouTube of one of my favorite songs as of late.

More as it comes to me.

new music: project jenny, project jan

2007-07-01T13:09:00.001-06:00

project jenny, project jan: they're a dance duo from brooklyn. they have a video titled "h.j.i.h." that, while initially might seem both simple and off-putting, is probably the best thing i've seen since that time when ok go danced on treadmills. i just really love funny dancing!

this isn't even their best song though, because they also have this wonderfully funky number called "train track," that is probably impossible not to listen to without at least head-bobbing a little. it'll appear on the group's upcoming full-length debut, xoxoxoxoxo, due out in august. it was the only track i felt like uploading, but if you like what you hear, "zoobar" and "320," also from the upcoming album, are floating around on various mp3 blogs. google is your bff!

mp3: project jenny, project jan - train track
youtube: project jenny, project jan - h.j.i.h.

new music: the moths

2007-06-18T11:34:00.001-06:00

it was really hard to find this picture of the moths. i had to go to their myspace and everything. the fact that even google couldn't help me find a photograph of the band tells me: they are unpopular. that may not last too long though.

the moths have recently dropped (at least on one side of the atlantic) a three-song 7" that consists of three tracks: "games" (the a-side and arguably the weakest of the three), "wild games" and "valentine." all three songs are terrific slices of uk guitar pop. "valentine," in particular, features a huge, driving guitar riff and a massive chorus that explodes through your speakers or your headphones or whatever other means of audio projection you may be employing. point is: there's an explosion.

here are two songs from the single, if only because i can't give you all three. now you'll go crazy wondering what "wild birds" could sound like!!

mp3: the moths - valentine
mp3: the moths - games

Hiatus

2007-06-06T21:22:00.000-06:00

ExtravaDanza will be on hiatus for the next 10 weeks. It will return in the middle of August.

Somehow, it felt necessary to explain to my (3?) readers that this blog will have stopped updating not out of laziness, but necessity.

Be back in awhile.

Don't you want to know how we keep starting fires?

2007-05-28T12:31:00.000-06:00

First, a Happy Memorial Day to my American readers. I hope you're all doing lots of patriotic things today.

For instance, if you own a book store and find that you're upset no one is reading books, you can maybe burn them so no one can read them ever again.

This is like when brothers fight over something and then one of your parents takes it away under the premise that "Now NEITHER of you will have it!" So this guy is upset less people are reading and no one wants his books, so now NO ONE will have his books. Good grief man.

Divided by the dance

2007-05-24T14:37:00.000-06:00

I made it out to The Metro last night to see Holy Fuck and !!!. This in itself isn’t that remarkable, aside from the part where I couldn’t even remember the last time I actually saw live music.

The show itself couldn’t have been better. Holy Fuck had a cool collage of sounds thing going for them, joining a very short list of opening bands that I’d probably see again given the right circumstances.

As for the headliners? One of the best sets I have ever seen. Everything written about frontman Nic Offer is true and more. It’s hard not to be in a good mood for live danceable rock music when the lead singer is dancing around like Napoleon Dynamite for 70 minutes.

In fact, the only downside to the show was its relatively short length. Sure, all that energy the band expelled may have called for a shorter set, but Chicago was definitely not tired last night. We wanted more.

But this blog is not about the show itself. No, this blog is about the one person in the crowd who I can’t stop focusing on all night because of their total lack of interest in what’s going on.

Last night that dubious honor went to a delightful blonde who was being snuggled by her boyfriend. The boyfriend seemed like a good enough guy. He was dancing to the music and generally having what looked like a pretty good time.

His girlfriend, on the other hand, was having none of it. At least while I could see her, she looked like she had no idea why she was there, much less why her boyfriend wanted to wrap his arms around her for the duration of the night.

She wasn’t in earshot for very long, but she did quite a job trying to think of excuses to get out of the mess of dancing people in the floor level. My favorite of these was complaining that it was too cold, because they happened to be standing underneath one of the few fans in the venue.

There’s absolutely no way it was too cold. Not when you’re surrounded on all sides by sweaty 20-somethings who were constantly in motion for a over an hour. I wonder how he even dragged her to the show in the first place. I wish I could’ve heard the conversation they had later that night.

Oddly enough, the boyfriend eventually moved them forward towards the crazier part of the crowd rather than out of it entirely. This was an interesting move, and I applaud the act. But next time, leave her at home.

It should be a finable offense to go to a dance-rock show with a sourpuss attitude.

For greater enjoyment please pretend this blog is from 1995

2007-05-14T16:03:00.000-06:00

As noted by the title here, this entry is going to seem a lot more relevant if you can all just pretend that it was written in the mid 90s and Seinfeld is still one of the highlights of NBC’s lineup of comedies. If you can’t do this, I can’t help you.

Recently, that is to say, a day ago and not in the mid 90s, I was alerted to a link for the J. Peterman Company. This struck me as pretty surprising because J. Peterman is of course the name of the catalogue that Elaine from Seinfeld worked on, and Peterman, with his ridiculous stories for his adult clothing line, became one of my favorite characters on the show.

As you can see from the link, the J. Peterman Company website is just like the catalogue depicted in Seinfeld. The website has links to all sorts of vintage (and I mean 1905 vintage) looking clothing that sells for a pretty high price, and no item lacks for an imaginative story behind it! At first I was sure this was a joke, or something created by a guy who admired Seinfeld a little too much.

But if Wikipedia is to believed, and for the sake of countless college essays let’s say that it has to be, the J. Peterman Company is real, and is actually what the Seinfeld Peterman was directly based on. What’s more, John O’Hurley, who played the Peterman character, actually works for the J Peterman Company in some capacity now.

That really couldn’t make me any happier.

So what I’m trying to say, blog friends, is that I want one (or all) of you to buy me something from this catalogue. You don’t have to get me an 80-dollar shirt, or the women’s pantaloons. You can pick up the 25-dollar shaving cream and call it a day. I’ll be very appreciative.

Self-Worth

2007-05-12T10:41:00.000-06:00

Quick update to solicit some friendly feelings for ESPN's Tim Kurkjian.

Kurkjian has apparently written a book that he considers extremely important.

This is how he finished off his most recent chat for ESPN...

Tim Kurkjian: I hope you like my book. If you're a big baseball fan and you don't like it, I've wasted the last 25 years of my life.

Everything will be okay, Tim.

Full service bar right past the hot dog stand

2007-05-11T13:52:00.001-06:00

I don’t get the opportunity to attend many sporting events at the United Center. Bulls games are usually on the pricy side, and I’d have to be coerced into paying any money at all to see a Blackhawks game in a situation where I couldn’t turn it off within seconds. Maybe this explains how I totally missed out on the phenomenon of full-liquor service at pro sporting events.

Now I’m new at this legal drinking thing, but from what I’ve gathered, beer is pretty much a guarantee at all sporting events. Past that, it’s a total crapshoot. Some venues serve some sort of fruit mixed drink or two, and some don’t seem to have any interest outside of beer.

The United Center, on the other hand, aims to make you drink until you forget. The Bulls home court features a full service liquor ‘stand’ where you can get any mixed drink your heart desires. But if that wasn’t enough, the venue also an on-site bar where, once you have paid an outrageous cover (like, say, the price of the ticket you used to enter the venue) you can watch a game you’re hundreds of feet away from witnessing….on a television.

I couldn’t deal with either of these developments. Look, I love girly drinks. If it’s sweet, I will probably drink it. But no one should be allowed to order some goofy mixed drink at a sporting event. What does this say about you as a person if you’re throwing down 7 bucks for a White Russian while Ben Wallace is growling and grabbing rebounds? Not only are you a lot less manly, but there are people right in front of you showing you how much tougher they are than you.

As for the weird United Center Bar? I don’t know. It becomes slightly more reasonable when you consider businesses may want to entertain clients who truly do not care about basketball (or hockey) but then why would you go to the United Center in the first place? Is it like the novelty of drinking where you normally wouldn’t? Should people set up bars inside of post office bathrooms for added novelty? I’m not sure I’m ready to plunk down 60 bucks for NBA playoff tickets and then go watch them from the concourse bar.

As silly as all this beer-talk is, it certainly was more amusing to ponder than trying to figure out how the Bulls blew a 19 point lead at home and shot something like 4-25 in the fourth quarter. That might be more perplexing than full liquor service in a stadium.

At least this series will be over soon.

The end of Badonkadonk

2007-05-08T21:03:00.000-06:00

Every so often when I’m out in public, I’ll see a billboard or happen to catch a radio station I wouldn’t ordinarily listen to playing something I can’t believe exists for even a second. This recently happened about three weeks ago, and I’ve been trying to formulate the exact way to bring it to everyone’s attention, and start some sort of grass roots campaign to do…something, exactly, I’m not sure what. But I can’t come up with anything. So I’m just going to lay the facts on the table and let the readers decide what to do.

As far as back as it was cool to use vernacular from the hip-hop world, mainstream America has been trying to steal every phrase that has the least bit of marketability. The most unfortunate (and irritating) example that immediately comes to mind is the overuse of “Izzle” after Snoop Dogg said it in a few songs.

This was compounded because Snoop is a bit of a master market, so he ended up creating whole television shows out of the thing. There was “Dogizzle Telivizzle,” and then some commercials where he said it a lot too. It took all of about 3 hours to run “Izzle” into the ground.

Which brings us to our present pop culture situation – everyone has collectively decided that ‘badonkadonk’ is now a word for mass consumption. The first time I saw this in action happened in this commercial:

First of all, I don’t believe that woman has ever said badonkadonk in her entire life outside of this commercial. They probably should have chosen any other actress ever. But if this wasn’t unsettling enough, some country singer named Trace Adkins has penned a song you can view below titled “Honky tonk badonkadonk.” No words can accurately express the confusion I felt the first time I heard this song in passing on the radio. I stopped to listen to it, even.

With lyrics like “She’s got it going on/Like Donkey Kong.” Mr. Adkins has apparently decided to really have fun with the song here, but he seems to confuse even himself with the lyrics.

Not that I expect a lot out of my pop country hits, but parts of this song absolutely kill me.

First, Adkins sings

There outta be a law
Get the Sheriff on the phone”

Which I mean, I guess if he’s against big asses, a law against them would be something he’d pursue, but in the very next verse he decides

“Honey, you can't blame her
For what her mama gave her”

So he doesn’t want to blame you for your nice butt, but he does want to lock you up.

The only reasonable conclusion I can form, then, is that Trace Adkins is a controlling, monster of a man. There are no two ways about it. Also he has clear love/hate issues with women with rotund bottoms.

Trace Adkins, ExtravaDanza gives you two thumbs down.

Now please, someone put the word “Badonkadonk” out of its misery.

Quotes that could use more explaining

2007-04-20T21:08:00.000-06:00

When the AP writes one of their baseball game recaps, they include little mini factoids at the bottom of the story. Two in particular tonight caught my eye.

First, from the Mets game:

Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca confronted a New York tabloid reporter before Friday's game, apparently upset with the paper's coverage. "Stay out of my life," he yelled.

I'm looking forward to the movie based on Paul LoDuca starring Matt Damon as Lo Duca and Robert Di Nero as a crazed reporter.

Then, from the White Sox game:

White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle had a little fun with Rodriguez when the catcher caught Jermaine Dye's foul pop in the second, in front of the Chicago dugout and Buehrle. Rodriguez's glove was right at the top railing when he caught it, and Buehrle then tried to take the ball out of Rodriguez's glove. Rodriguez pulled back his glove and slapped at Buehrle's hands as both players laughed.

I don't even know what to say to that. Anyone have a picture of this?

Rainin' In Beijing

2007-04-17T21:03:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine passed me an interesting story from the New York Times, and it seemed worth sharing. The jist is that there is apparently a national spitting crisis in Beijing. Probably too late to make this an actual Olympic event, right?

From baseball to breakfast

2007-04-09T12:32:00.000-06:00

Talking about baseball so much really wore me out, and when I'm worn out, I get hungry. What calms my screaming gut the best? Pancakes, of course. Always pancakes.

Happy Opening Day!

2007-04-01T15:50:00.000-06:00

This is the first google image result for 'opening day'. I think it's quite appropriate.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 1 Days

2007-03-31T17:02:00.000-06:00

Only one more day until I don't talk about baseball for at least a few weeks! Woo!

Here are some hastily thrown together playoff predictions.

AL Divisional Series:
Blue Jays over Tigers
Indians over Angels

NL Divisional Series:
Phillies over the Cardinals
Cubs over the Diamondbacks

AL Championship Series:
Indians over Blue Jays

NL Championship Series:
Phillies over Cubs

World Series:
Phillies over Indians

Now excuse me, all of this blogging has exhausted my love of the game.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 2 Days

2007-03-30T15:54:00.000-06:00

I’m predicting some major turnarounds this year in baseball. As tame as my award predictions may have been, I think the exact opposite is true of the ExtravaDanza picks for division winners. One of these approaches has to pay off.

*denotes wildcard winner

AL East

Toronto Blue Jays
Boston Red Sox
New York Yankees
Baltimore Orioles
Tampa Bay Devil Rays

This is the year of the Jays! I can feel it. Adding Frank Thomas to the mix will make them very interesting offensively, and Thomson and Ohka should prove to be better back of the rotation guys than they’ve had in recent years. If Halladay stays healthy and Burnett pitches just a little bit better, there’s no reason they can’t win the 90 or so games it will take to win the East.

The Red Sox have too many injuries and question-mark type guys for me to get too excited about Boston. Nobody knows how Dice will pitch (though I’d bet excellently) but Schilling looks fat and old, Wakefield is definitely old, and Josh Beckett needs to show something this season before I get on that bandwagon. I just don’t trust that pitching.

The Yankees are interesting, but their rotation drops off a cliff after Pettitte in the second spot, and Pavano is taking the opening day start by virtue of elimination. Terrifying. Still, New York has a ridiculous offense (if you forget about Doug Mientkiewicz), and they’ll probably be right there in the race.

Baltimore and Tampa Bay also play in this division.

Final Verdict: Whoever stays the healthiest of the big 3 will win it, and I believe in the Jays in ’07.

AL Central

Detroit Tigers
*Cleveland Indians
Chicago White Sox
Minnesota Twins
Kansas City Royals

I struggled for quite a while trying to pick which two of the teams in this division I believed in enough to bring to the playoffs. All of them, aside from Kansas City, have playoff potential, but they each have some massive holes as well. In the end, I settled on Detroit for the divisional crown and Cleveland right behind them in the wildcard.

Detroit seems like an odd pick given how poorly Verlander has looked this spring, and I’m even writing this with the benefit of the knowledge that Kenny Rogers is out until July with some blood clots in his arm. That doesn’t leave a very intimidating rotation. In fact, it leaves a pretty mediocre one. But Sheffield is going to make the Tigers’ offense worlds better, and the young Tigers’ relievers should be even more menacing with another year of experience under their belts.

Cleveland, everyone’s pick for the last three years to win this division, is my pick for the wildcard this year. I love the young bats here. Hafner, Sizmore, Garko, whatever. These are fun names! It’s too bad Foulke quit on the team, because he would’ve been a much more intriguing closer than Borowski, but hopefully it won’t kill them. I’m not crazy about the rotation or the middle relief, but both should be a little improved over last year. That’s good enough for me.

The White Sox drove me nuts in the off-season. They had weaknesses at left field, shortstop, and centerfield, but they also had six starting pitchers. So of course they traded their sixth and fifth starting pitchers for….more starting pitchers. Leaving them with weaknesses at left field, shortstop, centerfield, and fifth starter. This team will be lucky to win 85 games. The recent loss of very solid back-up Toby Hall won’t make things any easier, either. Garbage off-season.

The Twins time just may have simply come and gone. Radke retired, Liriano is missing the season, Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson are in the rotation. That’s not so good. Lots of talent offensively for Minnesota, but even Johan can’t carry them this far. Maybe next year.

As for the Royals, at least they seem to be making steps in the right direction. Time will tell whether they spend the money to make sure those steps weren’t wasted.

AL West

Los Angeles Angels
Oakland A’s
Texas Rangers
Seattle Mariners

Nothing much to see here. With the loss of Barry Zito, the Angels return to the playoffs in 2007 pretty much by default. That’s not to say they have a bad team. Really, keeping Jared Weaver in their rotation while making sure Jeff Weaver isn’t allowed in the state of California should be good enough for five extra wins at least. Offensively there are lots of intriguing pieces here, even if Gary Matthews drops off the face of the earth (and he probably will). Hard not to be excited for the Howie Hendrick era.

Oakland can take this year to retool a bit. Their young rotation will get some more experience, and Mike Piazza can destroy pitchers as a DH. Where’s Jeremy Brown?

Seattle and Texas will continue to be mediocre. I’m not sure what they need to do to turn it around, but I don’t get the impression that it’s happening. Maybe next year.

The national league predictions are going to be a lot shorter because I don’t spend much time watching the league.

NL East

Philadelphia Phillies
New York Mets
Atlanta Braves
Florida Marlins
Washington Nationals

Fair warning, I make very boring and uneducated National League predictions. Having said that, I believe in the Phillies. Or more to the point, I believe the New York Mets are incredibly old. The Phillies did some nice patch-up work on their rotation in the off-season, and even if Freddy Garcia doesn’t throw hard anymore, he’s probably better than whoever they had in the spot last year. Ryan Howard will continue to be a force as well, despite his substandard spring.

The Mets, on the other hand, have a rotation with Orlando Hernandez as the #2 starter. I love Delgado, Wright, and Reyes, but I could do with a lot less Shawn Green, Moises Alou, and Jose Valentin. I can’t even believe I typed that last name.

Atlanta and Florida will continue to rebuild, but Florida will miss Girardi and perhaps slide back a few wins this year. Washington is a non-factor.

NL Central
Chicago Cubs
*St. Louis Cardinals
Houston Astros
Milwaukee Brewers
Cincinatti Reds
Pittsburgh Pirates

Last year I became really excited about the Milwaukee Brewers, who, as it turns out, did not share my excitement. They were actually pretty bad. This year I’m getting excited about the Cubs. They’re no longer relying on Wood and Prior, and even though Lilly and Marquis aren’t that great, they’ll be stable options that will keep the bullpen from flaking out by May. Offensively, this is a pretty good unit. Soriano is going to kill the ball in Wrigley, and Lee should be back to full strength by now.

St. Louis is my wildcard pick based almost entirely on Pujols and Carpenter. The rest of the National League is so spotty that I think they can take the wildcard with only 88 or 89 wins.

NL West
Arizona Diamondbacks
San Diego Padres
Colorado Rockies
LA Dodgers
San Francisco Giants

What’s not to like about Arizona? New color scheme, Chris Young, Stephen Drew, Brandon Webb! Look at all that young talent. Meanwhile Randy Johnson will hop into a time machine and remember how it felt to be in the National League, and Livan Hernandez makes for a pretty good #3 starter. I like this team a lot.

The Padres will continue to be consistently solid, and the Rockies are going to make a major push for second place this year. Lots of good, young talent on that team as well.

The Dodgers and Giants will take major steps back this year.

That’s all for now. Check back tomorrow for the last day of the countdown, a look at the 2007 MLB Playoffs based on these divisional predictions!

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 3 Days

2007-03-29T09:12:00.000-06:00

With only 3 days left in the ExtravaDanza countdown to opening day, it’s time to start making baseless predictions that don’t matter! Today’s update covers all of the usual awards, while tomorrow's will tackle NL and AL division winners, and Saturday we'll finish up with some playoff predictions. Feel the excitement!

AL MVP: Travis Hafner

I’ve been thinking long and hard about who I think is going to make the playoffs this year, and without giving away too much before the big reveal a few days from now, I don’t think Cleveland has enough to put it together in a tough AL Central. Despite that, I think Hafner still wins his first MVP this year. He’s had two monster seasons in a row, and enough people should know his name by now that even though he’ll be playing for a second place team he’ll be able to pull out the votes. Besides, his nickname is Pronk.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols

Even if his manager can’t make it to the ballpark from his car parked a few blocks away, Albert will come to play again this year. As his demeanor gets surlier, Pujols seems to get better, so we might be looking at a Barry Bonds clone by 2009, but for now Albert should be content to put up another big power year with at least a few more smiles than the slugger by the bay.

AL CY Young: Johan Santana

They should just rename the award after this guy. Santana is two years away from free agency, and he’s already telling the Twins it would be wise to lock him up. The Twins don’t look very good this year, but that certainly isn't Johan's fault. Another 18-20 wins, minuscule ERA, and disturbing dominance of the White Sox are all in line for the best pitcher in the American League.

NL CY Young: Carlos Zambrano

This pick was easy enough to make. I mean, Zambrano has been telling people since the beginning of spring training that he’s going to win the award. He’s a year away from free agency too, unless the Cubs lock him up soon. I expect monster things from a guy who now has a manager who should push and prod him to greater heights than he had previously imagined. Plus, his lineup isn’t terrible this year, so he should be able to get a few more wins putting him in the 18-20 range.

AL Rookie of the Year: Daisuke Matsuzaka

I’m not sure if the backlash for naming a guy who has played professional baseball for years overseas a “rookie” has set in completely yet, so I’m going with the dice-man as my rookie of the year. He’s not as fun as Kei Igawa, but he’s probably quite a bit better. From everything I’ve read, this guy is ready to step in and absolutely dominate hitters. I just hope his emergence stops ESPN’s yearly Gyro-ball articles. Enough is enough!

NL Rookie of the Year: Troy Tulowitzki

When he was drafted in the Sports Den fantasy league, someone said “This is the new Clint Barmes.” Well, I’m on board. I liked Barmes, and Tulowitzki has an even funnier name. I guess the humidor has nullified the effects of Coors a bit, but it still can’t hurt Troy’s chances.

AL Comeback Player of the Year: Zach Greinke

After suffering a nervous breakdown, then coming back to pitch in the minor leagues last year, Greinke, previously a top prospect, looked phenomenal this spring. He received rave reviews not only from his coaches and teammates, but from the opposing batters who faced him as well. I couldn’t be more on board with this story. Here’s to hoping it continues.

NL Comeback Player of the Year: Mark Mulder

Once upon a time, Mark Mulder, Barry Zito, and Tim Hudson were the class of the Oakland A’s pitching staff. Now they’ve all split off onto different teams and Zito was the only one who was very good last year. While I don’t think Mulder is going to return to his previous heights just yet, I believe he’s about to have a much better year than he did last year.

AL Manager of the Year: John Gibbons

So what if he tried to punch out Shea Hillenbrand last year? If anything, that makes him more qualified for this award. Gibbons is a fine manager who has been dealt some pretty mediocre cards in his tenure, but I think he’ll finally pull things together for the Jays this year. And if not, no one will remember or care that I wrote this anyway.

NL Manager of the Year: Lou Piniella

I’m not sure the Cubs are going to win the NL Central or anything, but they’re going to be worlds better than their 66 win season last year, which should be more than enough to give sweet Lou a manager of the year trophy.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 4 Days

2007-03-28T08:16:00.000-06:00

Very short update today, but it's better than no update at all (...I hope).

The Sun-Times ran an AP story this morning talking about none other than Danny Almonte. Almonte was the little leaguer who absolutely destroyed everyone he pitched against in 2001. Later it was discovered that he was like 3 or 4 years older than the other kids in the league.

I can actually remember getting excited to watch a Danny Almonte Little League World Series start after the hype had started for him. I don't remember how he did in the game I ended up watching, but to this day I'm a little surprised at how pumped I was for a (supposedly) 13-year-old kid. I'll watch anything.

This is why "This Is Why I'm Hot" Is Hot. Maybe.

2007-03-27T14:48:00.000-06:00

There's a single currently making its way all over the radio and TV called "This Is Why I'm Hot." It is not hot, at all. It's actually pretty bad. It's some dude nobody has heard of telling me he's awesome because, basically, he's awesome. I'm all for meta-rapping, but I think this takes it too far. Shouldn't you be important before telling me you're important? At least a little bit?

So the Village Voice has dissected this song, attempting to get down to the root of the lyrics. I found this much more entertaining than the actual song.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 5 Days

2007-03-27T14:39:00.000-06:00

Today's bit of baseball is a very cool article today at SI.com about a female umpire working a Cubs spring training game.

Of interest to me in this article are the surprisingly progressive attitudes of the players quoted. Obviously they know they're being interviewed, so it would be particularly ignorant to say anything stupid, but those are some nice quotes. Besides, athletes are certainly not immune to saying dumb things in front of a microphone (Hi, Tim Hardaway!).

Although, as positive as the quotes were, this one from Scott Eyre did make me laugh a bit.

"If she rings somebody up for me, I don't care. You know what I mean? I wouldn't have a problem with it," he said.

Can't put my finger on it, but I laughed.

Anyway, good for her, and good for baseball for continuing to be progressive. Maybe one day she'll actually get to call a game in the big leagues. She can't be any worse than half of the guys doing it, right?

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 6 Days

2007-03-26T15:01:00.000-06:00

Today as part of this ongoing countdown, I guess I'll be Serious Dan to switch things up a bit.

ESPN's Page 2 has, from time to time, run interesting columns. Bill Simmons is a favorite of mine, even if he is misses the mark as much as he hits lately, but there are other talented writers putting out good material there, too. Guys like Chuck Klosterman, or before his passing, Hunter S. Thompson contributed interesting off-beat "sports" articles for P2 sporadically, and the little yellow page has even given us some neat running features, like that Ballpark reviews thing they did a awhile ago.

The point is, those times are few and far between, while articles like this one seem to supply the majority of the Page 2 editorial bulk. Here, Jeff Pearlman takes what could be an incredibly fascinating subject, Sammy Sosa's magical transformation from speechless foreigner two years ago to talkative Texas Ranger today, and reduces it to a couple of paragraphs of ethnic language stereotypes.

I realize that page 2 is supposed to be a more light-hearted approach to sports, and with that comes this sort of jokey humor that maybe a lot of people find very entertaining. I mean, tons of people love Carlos Mencia, so maybe I should chalk it up to simply not 'getting' Jeff Pearlman's humor.

But then another part of me thinks that it would've been nice if Pearlman actually wrote an article comparing Sosa's real quotes. What if he had dissected that? Why hasn't anyone dissected that? It seems like everyone was ready to rail McGwire, but Sosa's non-testimony in front of Congress went largely ignored.

It seems like Pearlman took the easy way out with this, and it bothers me a little too much.

Much like Sammy in front of Congress...I'm speechless.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 7 Days

2007-03-25T11:50:00.000-06:00

Joe Cowley has written my early favorite for newspaper lead of the year for the Chicago Sun-Times. In a story about pudgy, streak hitting shortstop Juan Uribe, Cowley opens

For now, watching ''I Love New York'' on VH1 will have to be enough for White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen.
That doesn't mean Guillen has given up hope that some TV network somewhere will have the sense to give shortstop Juan Uribe his own reality show.
''I would watch every episode,'' Guillen said of the idea late last season. ''Then I would tape them and watch them again.''
Uribe has that effect on people. He has an ability to make teammates crack up just by being himself, from the looks he gives to his self-given title of ''El Capitan'' to the way he struts around the clubhouse.
''It looks like God put his hands on backward,'' former Sox outfielder Carl Everett once said about Uribe's build.

Put his hands on backward? What does that even mean? I miss Carl Everett so much.

The Real Peyton Manning

2007-03-25T11:38:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine showed me this clip this morning from last night's SNL. Obviously, the joke is that Manning, who appears to be such a nice guy, is a total dick. But really, this is sort of how I imagined him anyway. I say he didn't have to do much acting.

Knowin' Your Biblical Analogies

2007-03-24T17:13:00.000-06:00

A BIG thanks goes out to Memphis' Joey Dorsey, who had some pretty interesting predictions regarding his performance in the recently completed Memphis/Ohio NCAA tournament game.

This part, especially, strikes a chord:

"Everyone wants to see me and Greg Oden go against each other. It's going to be David and Goliath. I'm Goliath. He's the little man. I'm going to outwork him to every ball. I think I'm going to have like a 20-rebound night. Coach Cal said this is going to be my breakout game."

Well, it turns out, Dorsey was half right.

He definitely was Goliath, because Goliath, if you might remember, had his face handed to him by David. This occurred. Oden, "David" for the purposes of this story, had 17 points and 9 boards. That part about his 20 rebound night? Not so much. Final line was 0 points, 3 rebounds.

Awesome.

Tyrus Thomas = Woody?

2007-03-24T16:00:00.000-06:00

Really enjoyed this nugget from the Chicago Tribune about Tyrus Thomas' celebration after his game-winning tip-in basket the other night against Denver.

"You put that game-winning basket in, it's a feeling you can't explain," P.J. Brown said. "You're just on a big-time natural high. You saw Tyrus, how he felt. He was kind of doing his little rodeo deal, kind of like the cowboy from 'Toy Story.' He looked like Woody a little bit."

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 8 Days

2007-03-24T15:13:00.000-06:00

A few hours removed from the 2007 Sports Den crew fantasy baseball draft, and it couldn't have gone any better. If you ask me, the entire reason to have a fantasy baseball team is because of the draft, which is as fun as the whole season gets. At that point everyone's team looks pretty good, nobody has any crippling injuries, your stars haven't turned to shit yet, and your rookies might still pan out. It's the most optimistic time of the year.

Besides, it's always fun to run through the tried-and-true list of draft day jokes including "Who?", "That's a great pick. Wait what round are we in?" and of course, "You know he's hurt, right?" You know he's hurt came up a few more times than normal this year, which is always a good time.

Oh and for the record, I'm riding A-Rod all the way to first place. And I mean that in a totally heterosexual way.

I was also way too happy to waste my 22nd round pick on one Jeremy Reed. Jeremy Reed, you MAY remember, hit over .400 for a few months in AAA like 4 years ago. He's spent the last two years in the majors putting up lines like

2006 .217 .260 .377 .637
2005 .254 .322 .352 .674

What that means is he actually got much worse last year. I couldn't be more excited for my 6th outfielder.

Playball!

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 9 Days

2007-03-23T13:00:00.000-06:00

Nine more days!

Reading through Jayson Stark's ESPN column today in order to try and figure out fantasy sleeper picks, I came across a confusing little nugget at the bottom of his page: Cool Standings.

What you need to know about Cool Standings is that it's some sort of computer simulation that determines the 2007 division winners using 2006 statistics and a 2007 baseball schedule. According to the page I linked up there, Cool Standings uses "Smart" division standings. But you can also see that through 125 games, the Boston Red Sox are sitting very pretty with 100 wins and 25 losses. There's nothing cool about these standings at all.

There's a FAQ on another page of the CS website that explains the math behind the standings and it includes some sort of chart, but I'm more than a little skeptical.

Back tomorrow evening with thoughts on the annual Sports Den Fantasy Baseball Draft. That should be interesting to...at least three people who read this.

MLB Opening Day Countdown Bonus Clip

2007-03-22T13:55:00.000-06:00

Couldn't let this go without a mention. The following photo is purported to be Ken Griffey Jr, but I'm not so sure. Thanks, ESPN.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 10 Days

2007-03-22T08:43:00.000-06:00

Today, ten days remaining until opening day, CNNSI offers up a triple-whammy of baseball goods.

First, in real news, Tony LaRussa apparently received a DUI. Sleeping in his car in drive with the foot on the break? That's pretty impressive if you ask me.

Not content with reading fair and balanced sports journalism? Try SI's baffling parody articles. To be fair they're provided by The Brushback Report, but it's still a little weird. In the latest, SI skewers the Marlins for their weak bats. Unfortunately the articles aren't put onto the same pages as the rest of the site, so you'll have to head to The Scorecard and check it out for yourself at the bottom right corner of the page.

Finally, this little gem of a (real) quote on the same SI Scorecard page:

"It's pretty cool. I wear the outfit around the house and try to sneak up on people."

-- Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster, who claims he's training to be a ninja

As a friend said to me, this is why the Cubs are bad. It has nothing to do with goats or curses or Bartman. It's because their relievers are dressing up as ninjas. Wow. Bonus points if anyone can find a picture of Dempster in the costume.

MLB Opening Day Countdown: 11 Days

2007-03-21T12:07:00.000-06:00

Major League Baseball is finally back. Almost, anyway! to celebrate the start of the 2007 season, ExtravaDanza is going to spend the next 11 days counting down to the first game of the season, April 1st, when the Mets face the Cardinals on ESPN.

Each day for the next 11 days I'll try to run at least one baseball related story in hopes of getting everyone excited for the season.

Today's news involves In Demand's offer to match DirecTV's ludicrous offer for the MLB Extra Innings package. I'm curious to see where this goes. Even if I've never purchased Extra Innings, I'd love the option to, and it seems like incredibly bad business to limit it to DirecTV subscribers only.

Turtle Power

2007-03-20T11:18:00.000-06:00

I realize ExtravaDanza is long overdue for an update, but I think this makes up for it.

Hopefully more updates coming in the next few days.

new music: winterkids

2007-02-27T12:39:00.001-06:00

winterkids are a five piece indie art-pop band from a small countryside village called peaslake in surrey, olde england. i copied that sentence directly from their website because, i've found, in these little 'new music' entries that i post periodically, i have trouble getting objective, hard facts down on the page. but i'm trying. for instance: their debut album, memoirs, is set to be released.... uhhh..... okay, my extensive research breaks down here. we'll say sometime this spring. now let's get subjective:

these guys have an awfully rock-radio-ready sound, and the singer's emoish tendencies in the "tape it" video don't help matters, but here's all that counts: these songs are catchier than bird flu (song and disease) and i can't stop listening to them. if they blow up, the radio will be a better place.

mp3: winterkids - use your feet
mp3: winterkids - tape it
youtube: winterkids - tape it

Running Diary: 2007 NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest

2007-02-17T22:27:00.000-06:00

After sitting in and watching a collection of amusing All-Star events including the 3-point competition, skills competition, and Charles Barkley racing a nearly 70-year-old Dick Bavetta, I decided I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do a running diary of the 2007 NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest (presented by Sprite!). Enjoy.

9:21 –Live on TNT it’s the NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest! Bryant! Carter! Wade! Anthony! None of those guys are competing here! I’m certainly excited.

9:24 – Just a reminder: Tyrus Thomas is already down $10,000 before he attempts one dunk. He doesn’t just want that prize money. He needs that prize money.

9:25 - Oh wait. Penn & Teller are going on first. I hope Tyrus shows them the trick where he puts his whole foot in his mouth.

9:26 – Tony Parker was just sawed in half by Penn & Teller. That was not faaaaaantastic.

9:27 – That segues into a highlight reel of four of the best in-game dunks in NBA history. Fans voted on their favorite and Michael Jordan dunking over Patrick Ewing comes out on top at 44%. That was probably the beginning of the end for Ewing, wasn’t it?

9:28 – Tyrus Thomas, Gerald Green, Dwight Howard, and Nate Robinson are your participants tonight. That’s an All-Star cast all right.

9:29 – This Dunk Contest is presented by Sprite in case you weren’t aware. Makes me miss Grant Hill.

9:30 – Barkley is back in the booth after he won his race against Dick BaVetta! He’s the perfect guy for this. Chuck is joined by Kenny Smith, Kevin Harlan, and Magic Johnson.

9:34 – Your celebrity judges tonight are Michael Jordan, Dr. J, Dominique Wilkins, Vince Carter, and Kobe Bryant. I guess I was half wrong about Bryant and Carter.

9:34 - I hope MJ isn’t looking at Pippen pondering a comeback thinking “That’s not a bad idea!”

9:35- Tyrus Thomas up first and he misses the first attempt. He has 2 minutes to complete his dunks, by the way, as part of the newly instated “Chris Andersen Rule”. Andersen you might remember missed about 20 dunks in a row before finally hitting one. Later he was suspended for PCP use. Faaaaantastic!

9:35 - Thomas misses two more alley-oops from Ben Gordon.

9:36 – Thomas hits one bounced under his legs, off the backboard caught and slammed home. I’m telling you, he needs this money. Tyrus gets a 37 from the judges. I’m not a math major, but that doesn’t seem very good.

9:37 – Gerald Green up next. Representing the Boston Celtics.

9:38 – Green slams home a ball off the side of the backboard. I think Thomas better watch out.

9:38 – Dwight Howard slams a decent dunk home. MJ gives out an 8 and he’s the early favorite for toughest judge to impress. People forget he stole a dunk contest in Chicago from Wilkins, too.

9:40 – Defending champion Nate Robinson throws the ball up and brings it back down with authority. Tremendous air. Jordan gives it negative points.

9:41 – Tyrus is in trouble. Green leads with 48, Robinson had 45, Howard puts up 43 and Tyrus, the only guy to go Chris Andersen in the first round, is clutching his 37.

9:44 – Cheryll Miller is courtside now giving MJ hell for giving everyone such low scores. “I want to leave room for improvement.” You think this is a game? MJ plays for keeps when it comes to slam dunk trophies baby.

9:45 – Here comes Thomas’ second dunk. He dunks it over Ben Gordon and breaks the net in his first attempt. Well that’s pretty impressive. Hope it doesn’t come out of his paycheck or he could be out even more money. This has not been a profitable all-star break for Double T. Tyrus gets a 43 in round 2. Not bad.

9:50 – Lots of awkward sitting around here while they re-string the rim. Thanks Tyrus. MJ does not look happy. Probably has a blackjack table or five calling his name.

9:50 – Dwight Howard dunks and puts a sticker on the top of the backboard. That’s fantastic. MJ gave it an 8. Not a joke that time.

9:51 – Barkley: “Michael has lost his mind. He’s in a rush.” Oh you don’t say?

9:52 – MJ gives Nate Robinson’s next dunk, where he grabbed the ball from David Lee in mid air and dunked it, a 9. He’s never going to give that ten, is he?

9:53 – Gerald Green is changing his shoes while Paul Peirce is putting out a cardboard Nate Robinson on the court. I’m already excited. Cardboard Nate has been replaced by real Nate at real Nate’s request. Real Nate’s agent is terrified right now.

9:54 – Can I put money down on Green nailing Robinson in the face?

9:55 – Green hits his dunk, leaping right over Robinson. MJ gives it a 9. Unbelievable.

9:56 – Green and Robinson advance to the finals while Tyrus and Dwight head home.

10:00 – Nate’s up first in the finals. He has 2 minutes to complete this dunk of course. Nate misses his first attempt, tossing the ball from the tree point line and slamming it in.

10:01 – Miss #2.

10:02 – Magic: “We’ve seen this 100 times.” MJ won’t like this, will he?

10:03 – He gets it on attempt #3 and MJ gives him a 7. And then he kidnapped Robinson’s dog.

10:04 – Green’s up. Gets the ball from Pierce from behind the backboard and throws it down. He leads robinson 41-39 after one dunk.

10:04 – Nate’s back. Missing a spinning dunk rebounded off the backboard. This could get ugly.

10:06 – it’s officially ugly. Robinson has run out of time. He now has 2 more attempts to make his dunk.

10:07 – one attempt down. He just can’t do this dunk.

10:07 - He gets it on his last attempt. Ten tries. 8s across the board aside from Dr. J, who gives it a 9.

10:08 – Gerald Green is bringing out a table. It’ll be a shame when someone gets crippled in the slam dunk contest. Hits it on the first try while jumping over the table.

10:09 – MJ gives it a ten! More surprising than the dunk, even. Gerald Green has put himself on the map here tonight. Right up there with all those guys who won the dunk contest and went on to be huge stars like JR Rider, and uh…oh wait.

10:10 – Your winner of the 2007 SPRITE NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest sponsored by Sprite and the NBA and its associate sponsors – Gerald Green. Who says these things aren’t fun? I’m going to bed.

I can't even find the words

2007-02-17T09:05:00.000-06:00

The tornado of doom that is Britney Spears' life just keeps on rolling today. Not content with being constantly pregnant and being seen with the worst guys ever Brit is now....well you can see for yourself.

Can somebody please help her? Please?

Rocky mountain high

2007-02-11T18:47:00.000-06:00

I'm not judging the Serbian people at all for this story from ESPN.

So what if they want to put a statue of a fictional character in their town? Philly did it. Every city should do it. The more Rocky the better.

I wonder what Stallone thinks about this though.

Welcome to the no-fun zone

2007-02-11T18:43:00.000-06:00

So here we are. Following the soaking wet disappointment of the Super Bowl, Chicago is left, like much of the country, in the annual February sports black hole.

The Bears are now hibernating with their tails tucked between their legs, the White Sox and Cubs are still a week away from letting newspaper photographers get some great action shots of Mark Buehrle and Carlos Zambrano stretching, the Bulls are having another ho-hum year, March Madness is still weeks away and the Blackhawks still don’t exist.

Where does that leave us? Hopefully not watching the Pro Bowl last Saturday. The same football “all-star” game that saw 4 of 8 Bears participants drop out due to “injuries” following their Super Bowl loss.

I don’t know too many Chicagoans upset about that. Frankly, Peyton Manning was probably the most disappointed of anyone. It’s hard to get 30 first downs against a defense with a game plan.

Plain and simple, February stinks. In place of actual, interesting sporting coverage, we get a weeks worth of controversy out of disappointing Bulls rookie Tyrus Thomas. Because Tyrus decided to be honest (probably the last time he makes that mistake) with the media by telling them he didn’t really care about an event nobody really cares about, sports fans were treated a few days of blow-by-blow coverage from the Tribune’s NBA expert Sam Smith.

First Smith decried Thomas as a primadonna who apparently has a major attitude problem. Then he wrote a column telling us that Thomas doesn’t hate Smith, not yet anyway. All the while, Smith never even suggested one trade of the rookie, which is odd considering a staple of Smith’s columns for the last several years has been outrageous trades of nearly every single player on the roster.

Is that how boring February is? Sam Smith can’t even come up with a good Tyrus Thomas & Mike Sweetney for Kevin Garnett deal? Disappointing!

The most interesting news to come out of the Thomas/Smith fiasco was a Sun-Times columnist firing back at Smith (without mentioning him once) saying that the whole thing was blown out of proportion and Tyrus Thomas is a great guy if you just give him a chance. I love it when sports writers become more important than the sport they’re covering.

What’s worse, it’s not as if the lack of sports comes at an opportunistic time. February, despite being the shortest month of the year, is easily one of the worst when it comes to temperature and mood. People are sick of winter by now, spring is tantalizingly around the corner, and the outdoors are not to be braved by those without snow mobiles.

Shouldn’t ESPN be showing classic MLB games to get us pumped for spring training? Or maybe “Great Moments in March Madness” for the tournament just around the corner? Nope. We get the Pro-Am Poker Equalizer. That’s some thrilling programming.

But that’s all right. Maybe February is a month best used to recharge our sports watching batteries. After all, you have to be ready for the stretch run, and even if there isn’t an interesting sporting event within weeks of your TV set, nothing gets you more prepared than taking out your old sports movie DVDs and pretending like Rocky Balboa was a real boxer who captured our hearts.

And if that fails, you can always dust off your Xbox and pretend the White Sox didn’t fall apart in the second half of last year.

Comprehensive something

2007-02-06T18:32:00.000-06:00

Buried deep in an article on Red Sox pitcher Jon Papelbon at MLB.com is an interesting little nugget that made me chuckle.

When discussing the recovery of 2/5 of the Red Sox potential rotation Ian Browne writes:

Jon Lester is coming off cancer and Matt Clement is still on the road to recovery after comprehensive surgery on his right shoulder.

A few things make this remarkable to me.

One – Lester is ‘coming off’ cancer. It’s not like “John Lester is coming off a year where he went 1-5’ or “Jon Lester is coming off a year riddled with arm trouble.’ Nope, he’s just ‘coming off cancer’ like he shook it right off.

Two - There’s no mention of the kind of cancer Lester had, but we are treated to an excellent description of Matt Clement’s “comprehensive surgery”.

Awesome.

Tyru$ Thoma$

2007-02-06T18:27:00.000-06:00

Note: There will be no Super Bowl recap. Terrible effort all around though.

---

Now,normally I hate when people think they’re being clever and type things like Micro$oft or $ony or whatever. Look, I get it, the dollar sign looks like an S.

But seriously Bulls rookie Tyrus Thomas is setting a new standard for honesty in today’s athletes and not surprisingly, it has a lot to do with a little bit of money.

According to ChicagoSports.com Thomas is excited about only one portion of the slam dunk competition he will compete in over All-Star weekend – the prize money.

Asked if he were excited about becoming the first Bull since Scottie Pippen in 1990 to participate in the event as part of All-Star weekend, Thomas barely looked up from untying his shoes. "Not really," Thomas said. "I'm just going to go out there, get my check and call it a day."

Asked if an opportunity to rub elbows with some of the game's greats could be beneficial for a rookie, Thomas kept unlacing.

"I'm just into the free money," he said. "That's it. I'll just do whatever when I get out there."

Thomas makes $3.26 million.

The winner gets $35,000. The runner-up receives $22,500. Third and fourth place are worth $16,125.

I wonder if he thought there were a few extra zeros on the end of that $35,000.

EDIT: Thomas was fined $10,000 by the Bulls. As Luke said to me upon learning about this, "The irony is overwhelming."

The last Super Bowl link (for now)

2007-02-03T10:33:00.000-06:00

I appreciate everyone bearing with me (oh man, get it!?) during this trying time for people who don't live in Indianapolis or Chicago, which makes just about everyone that reads this blog besides me.

Anyway, one final Super Bowl related point of interest here, a youtube video created by "Bears8505". I watched this twice back-to-back I liked it so much. And I can never remember the consensus on Any Given Sunday. Did anyone besides me like this movie? Anyway, enjoy, and I'll see you after the game.

Fat baby...but not the fattest baby

2007-02-02T09:12:00.000-06:00

You know how everyone gets so excited when there's a new baby around? The mom is so eager to show off the new baby, and because babies basically look the same, everyone says the baby is so cute and everyone has a great time making funny noises at this new boy or girl?

Well apparently sometimes moms and dads just like their babies to be gawked at. "Cute? MY baby is fat!"

Worst of all is that this isn't even the fattest baby ever. It's basically just your run of the mill fat baby. Why is MSNBC reporting this?

Wait.

Why am I blogging about this?

Fat!

This would be the moon’s 9/11,000

2007-02-01T22:25:00.000-06:00

It’s the story that keeps on giving.

What started as a Cartoon Network viral marketing campaign turned into a bomb threat.

That’s old news now.

The new story involves people paying upwards of $1,000 to own these glorified Lite-Brites.

I can’t believe I didn’t go around Chicago today trying to steal one of these things.

Back to the original story though, I think I can name at least three things more dangerous than a Lite-Brite.

Grossman on Sunday (You don’t want to be in the way of errant throws)
Crossfire – The Game (catchy theme song aside, those little pellets could cause some damage.)
An Actual Bomb (Non-Lite-Brite division)

new music: tokyo police club

2007-01-31T21:37:00.001-06:00

now that everyone else on the internet has hyped them up, i decided i might as well do it too. it's tokyo police club! no but seriously, it took me a long time to come around on these guys, but after finally giving a good solid listen to their lesson in crime ep, i don't know what i was hearing before. these guys are pretty great.

i haven't done any 'research' but if i had to guess, i'd say they'll probably release a full-length album this year. and that it will be very good and received even more internet- and real-life-hype, and they'll practically be a household name by the end of 2007. or maybe not, i dunno. here are a couple great tracks from a lesson in crime, in any case!!

mp3: tokyo police club - cheer it on
mp3: tokyo police club - nature of the experiment
youtube: tokyo police club - nature of the experiment

Bangkok hockey slaughter

2007-01-30T18:42:00.000-06:00

I’m pretty surprised that I’m actually writing a story about Kazakhstan that didn’t involve Sacha Baron Cohen in some way, but here we are.

According to the Bangkok Post, the Kazahkstan hockey team put a 52-1 beat down on Thailand in the group stage of the Asian Games ice hockey tournament yesterday.

That is an Olympics-era record according to the Post.

(Wait for it…..)

(Wait for it….)

Very Nice.

NFL Playoff Picks: Super Bowl

2007-01-30T18:32:00.000-06:00

I went 1 and 1 in the first week of ExtravaDanza NFL picks, but more importantly, I got the one pick that mattered most (to me) correct. For the first time in my life, I’ll be able to sit and watch a Super Bowl that my team is actually playing in.

Needless to say, I couldn’t be more excited or irrational about this game. I actually typed rexcited on accident at first, and then debated not even changing it. It’s going to be a very weird week.

So how can I evaluate a Colts/Bears Super Bowl objectively? I’m not sure I can. Both teams play a version of the Tampa Cover 2 defense, so theoretically neither quarterback should be very surprised by what they see. This would seem to favor Manning because he’s clearly the better QB, but deep down I want to believe that Rex is going to match him pass for pass, or maybe Manning will have another game like he did against Kansas City.

Special teams is a draw with Vinatieri getting the nod over Gould, but Hester getting the nod over whoever is returning kicks for Indy, especially because the game is a homecoming of sorts for Hester, who attended the University of Miami.

I’m giving the Bears the running game because I believe much more in the Jones/Benson than I do Addai/Rhodes, but that could be a hometown thing.

But even with every match-up seemingly tilted in the Colts favor, at least left to a push, I’m going with my team. There’s a time to be objective in sports, but this isn’t it. Not for me.

Chicago Bears (+7) over Indianapolis Colts

Agent Zero, hibachi, whatever, Arenas is talking again

2007-01-26T17:14:00.000-06:00

Here are some facts about oft-disrespected NBA star Gilbert Arenas listed in order of Arenas' perception of their importance.

1) When Gilbert played college ball, nobody thought he'd be any good. Many said he'd never play at all, which is why he (still) wears the number zero on his jersey.

2) Arenas was drafted in the second round of the NBA Draft, meaning every team in the league passed on him once. This led to him disparaging other teams and players with remarks such as "I can't believe they drafted (x) when they could have had me."

3) Arenas did not make the cut for the last Olympic basketball team which upset him so much that he vowed revenge on everyone involved in the selection process for the team. His first stop was Phoenix, where he scored 54 points on the Suns and their coach Mike D'Antoni. D'Antoni was an assistant on the USA Basketball team.

The next step on the Arenas revenge tour is February 11th when the Wizards, the TEAM he plays for, will play Portland, where coach Nate McMillan resides. McMillan also was an assistant on the team.

But the best part of all is that Arenas doesn't consider his revenge mission complete. He needs to get back at one more person: Duke's Coach K.

Duke.

The NCAA team.

According to Arenas' NBA.com blog:

D'Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he'd like to see what I'm going to do against Duke.
I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I’ll give up one NBA season to play against Duke.
One college game…that’s five fouls, right?...40-minute game…at Duke, they got soft rims…I’d probably score 84 or 85.
I wouldn’t pass the ball.
I wouldn’t even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person.

That's amazing.

Oh and I almost forgot.

4) Arenas' actual team, the Washington Wizards, are in first place in the Eastern Conference. Not that Gilbert is worried about that at all.

Photo Courtesy of NBA.com

Outfield additions, subtractions in Chicago

2007-01-23T19:19:00.000-06:00

Surprising news for White Sox fans today when the team announced two separate (but seemingly related) outfield transactions.

I can't believe Scott Podsednik has another hernia. Last off-season he had surgery for a left sports hernia that he blamed for his lackluster end to the season. According to ChicagoSports.com Podsednik now re-aggravated a right sports hernia he first sustained four years ago. He's giving me a headache.

And Darin Erstad? Really? Is this 1999? He's apparently going to be the 4th outfielder, but I'd prefer if he was maybe selling hot dogs. Darin Erstad had 25 home runs in 2000. Since then has a total of 37 home runs in the last 5 years.

Opening Day is less than 70 days away!

Prison Break Returns

2007-01-22T21:53:00.000-06:00

Just had a few comments on the return of one of my favorite shows. SPOILER ALERT if you watch the show though. I can't make jump cuts on blogspot.

Bellick in prison was a great idea. As Luke mentioned to me, he misses the novelty of these guys all being stuck in cells and losing toes to angry Italian mobsters. This isn't quite the same, but it's something. I'm not really into dessert as a metaphor for prison sex though.

I love that Terrence Steadman had every single part of his identity erased...and then shot himself in the face anyway. What a quitter that guy is.

The ending of the episode and previews for next week set the show up for another improbable getaway. After escaping from the prison at the end of season one, they were totally surrounded by cops. When season two began, suddenly they were home free in the woods. Now they're surrounded by cops inside of a motel. I can't wait for the trap door escape this time.

Oh Prison Break, I missed you.

Thoughts on the Bears/Saints game

2007-01-22T21:13:00.000-06:00

This will be my last Bears related post for at least a couple days....I think.

I just wanted to throw out some minor analysis and post-game thoughts now that the euphoria of the victory has faded a bit.

Gross, Man: I officially give up trying to understand this quarterback. He was abysmal in the beginning of the game. Just startlingly bad. I can recall at least two times where Fox displayed graphics like "Drew Brees: 5/7 60 yards" followed by "Rex Grossman: 1/6 4 yards" and so on. This stellar play culminated in a goal line stand where he actually tried to call time out after the Bears had called a time out on the previous play. For the record, you can't do this. Eventually he decided to run a play, a run by Cedric Benson that got the Bears a first and goal inside the 4 yard line. That led to Grossman over-throwing a wide open Bernard Berrian, and an eventual call for Robbie Gould to pick up the 3 points. Embarrassing. All of this leads me to the 4th quarter, where miraculously, Grossman started throwing bullets to everyone on the team and the game went from 18-14 to 39-14 in like 2 minutes. How can anyone be so bad for so long and then so good briefly? Who is the real Rex Grossman?

Safety First: This was absolutely huge. The score is 16-14 and the Saints have the ball, and even though they're pushed up against their own end zone, it's not as if they didn't JUST drive 80+ yards before. The safety changed everything.

Conspiracy Squashed: My grand conspiracy theory involving the Saints being given a ticket to Miami officially busted about the time when New Orleans actually changed a ruling on the field that I thought the officials had wrong. The Bears caused a fumble that sure didn't look like a fumble, and Sean Payton challenged the ruling only to lose a timeout. Tough break for sure, but it was nice to know that the fix was off. You can thank me later.

Finally, there's this, courtesy of The Chicago Tribune:

I don't remember this occurring in real time, but I do love it. Reach for the stars, Chicago Bears.

You had to see this coming, right?

2007-01-21T20:11:00.000-06:00

I'm not here to start no trouble, I'm just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle!

Beardford: Go Bears

2007-01-21T11:10:00.000-06:00

Just in time for today's NFC Championship game comes a rallying cry out of Algonquin, Illinois for Chicago's finest. The acoustic guitar over passionate Bear-centric shouting reminds me of how I wish The Mountain Goats actually sounded. Obviously this is a novelty song, but right now I can only think of one better Bears-related song. Well done, Beardford.

new music: noisettes

2007-01-19T18:52:00.001-06:00

hello extravadanza readers, this is not dan!

it just didn't seem right that dan would start a blog centered around pop culture and i wouldn't be involved in some way -- after all, we've been at it together since the initial days of sports-den, almost seven years ago. so while we won't exactly be sharing the load equally here - dan's name is right in the title, after all! - i'll pop up every now and then to share and talk about some new music that i'm really digging. or maybe i'll talk about something else, if i'm feeling really overcome by the go-getta spirit. for now: music.

these are the noisettes. or rather: noisettes. yes it's annoying when you can't stick a 'the' in front of a band with a pluralized name but i trust last.fm and they tell me that there's no 'the'! anyway, that isn't what you need to know. what you need to know is that this uk trio brings back the fever to tell fire that was missing from the last yeah yeah yeahs record, throwing in a little more blues and funk, and have produced a couple of the first great singles of 2007: "don't give up" and "sister rosetta." both tracks can be found on their upcoming album, what's the time, mr. wolf?, which is due out february 5. for now, sample the record's best moments:

mp3: noisettes - sister rosetta
youtube: noisettes - sister rosetta
youtube: noisettes - don't give up

oh p.s. i'm luke nice to meet you!

Reminder: Stop eating when you are full

2007-01-18T19:53:00.000-06:00

Picture 1 - Britney Spears
Picture 2 - Also Britney Spears

Please stop having kids. Please.

The Sticky Vicky

2007-01-18T19:40:00.000-06:00

Michael Vick is (maybe) in trouble with the law.

None of that is important.

What is important is that Michael Vick apparently owns a water bottle with secret compartments to hide his weed. He's the James Bond of drug using NFL players. I love it.

Still doesn't top the Whizzinator though.

Sorry Mike, you're close, but not quite there yet.

NFL Playoff Picks: Conference Championship Round

2007-01-17T11:08:00.000-06:00

During last year's NFL Playoffs I picked a few winners publicly for the first time in my life. This blog hasn't existed long enough for me to do pick for the entire '07 NFL Playoffs, but I figured I might as well try to pick the last three games of the NFL season. Here goes absolutely nothing.

(Home team in caps)

NFC Championship Game - CHICAGO BEARS(-2) over New Orleans Saints
I know, big surprise picking the home town team, right? If Grossman can play like he did last week, and the Bears defense plays just a tad better than they played this week, there's no reason Chicago can't win this game. Then again, if McAllister runs all over the Bears similar to how Alexander did last week, it could be a very long day in Chicago. Still, I'm sticking with the home team because I think the league knows everyone else is aware they've fixed the season for the Saints. The kibosh comes Sunday.

AFC Championship Game - New England Patriots (+3) over INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
I can't stand Manning. I can't stand Dungy. I sort of like Tom Brady, and I really want to see a Super Bowl XX rematch. Of course, Manning has been terrible this post-season and his defense has been tremendous, which means that if he actually had a good game, the Colts could be killing these playoffs. I don't think it's going to happen.

Sam I Am

2007-01-17T10:58:00.000-06:00

Guess whose one step closer to returning to the big leagues?

Everyone's favorite home run hitting hero (Non McGwire division)Sammy Sosa!

According to ESPN.com, Sammy has been offered a minor-league deal with the Texas Rangers.

The Rangers, you may recall, have previously employed such confirmed and potential 'roiders as Raphael Palmeiro, Jose Canseco, and Ivan Rodriguez. Sammy should find himself at home in no time if he agrees to the deal.

My only question is whether, after his amusing show in front of Congress, he's going to use an intrepreter to field those tough post-game questions he'll be facing.

Does that make you crazy? Possibly.

2007-01-15T09:11:00.000-06:00

Here's an amusing little tidbit from Sam Smith's NBA column in the Chicago Tribune.

The Pistons still were shaking their heads over a terrifying flight through storms into Chicago last week that had everyone white-knuckled. Wallace was throwing his arms up in the air like he was on a roller coaster and yelling, "Do it again, do it again."

Don't tell Rasheed Wallace he doesn't know how to have a good time.

Representation

2007-01-14T11:45:00.000-06:00

More and more lately it seems like agents are becoming as well known as the players they represent. From the legendary MLB agent Scott Boras, who has negotiated astronomical deals for the likes of A-Rod and Chan Ho Park to NFL agents like Terrell Owens' ringmaster, Drew Rosenhaus, agents are everywhere.

This has even extended into sports video games, where modes like Madden's superstar mode allow you to create one player from the ground up to control, which of course includes signing your own agent. Of course, Madden doesn't let you pick the very best agents at first. Initially you're stuck with guys who have your best interests at heart, and who may not be very good negotiators at all.

I was reminded of this when reading ESPN's MLB Rumor Mill today. For every Scott Boras, there's a Jim Masteralexis. Masteralexis represents so-so major league pitcher Tomo Ohka and this quote from Ohka's recent Rumor Mill note says it all:

"You can tell from how hoarse my voice is, I've been doing a lot [of negotiating] the past few days," Masteralexis told the newspaper."

New Beginnings

2007-01-13T09:52:00.000-06:00

Hello there!

Welcome to ExtravaDanza, a blog covering sports, music, pop culture, and anything else I feel might be worth talking about. If you're reading this first entry chances are I know who you are and we've been friends for a long time, but in case you've stumbled upon this blog blindly let me give you a little bit of back story.

ExtravaDanza is going to (hopefully) be an entertaining look at the above mentioned subjects with links and editorial content by your faithful blogger, me, Dan K. It's also the next step in an online publishing world that has slowly changed from being about multipurpose websites with tons of pages into a simple blog that gets right to the point. Previously, ExtravaDanza was called The Sports Den Blog and had its own cute domain as an off-shoot of Sports-Den.Net, a website that promised to do what I've promised to do above, but with the help of at least a few other friends.

So here we are. With any luck, this will turn into an entertaining spot to waste a few minutes a day. And if not, I can delete the whole thing and pretend it never happened.

Thanks,
Dan